Week 1, Observing

This fellowship has made me increasingly conscious of my position as an observer. That being said, observation can have a negative connotation when one is on the outside looking in. However, my experience thus far hasn’t felt like I am doing my research from an aerial view. Instead, this fellowship has encouraged me to be more perceptive of my immediate, everyday surroundings–buildings, transportation, and people.

Although my project is in the same city that I have lived in for the last three years, it almost feels like I am working in an entirely new place. Experiencing New York City through the lens of an NYU student has its limitations and boundaries. This has become increasingly clear. I am becoming more aware of the secluded enclave that NYU is situated within. I don’t mean to sound like a demagogue who condemns liberal bubbles. Rather, I am understanding that I have been isolated by interacting with people in close proximity to me or those who happen to have similar socio-economic backgrounds as me at my university. Just as many immigrant communities tend to cluster together in one place or with people from similar backgrounds, I, too, have realized that NYU is one niche among many in the vast populations of New York City.

One of the most interesting aspects of my project is my commute. Because it takes about an hour to get to the South Bronx from Bushwick, I get to spend a lot of time on the train and witness different demographics that correspond to different subway lines and different times of the day. I get on the DeKalb L, ride it to 6th Avenue, and then transfer to the 2 train and get off 15 stops later at Freeman street. If it’s around 3 pm, I’ll tend to see many mothers and children commuting home. If it’s rush hour, I witness a lot of businessmen and women who take the 2 or 5 to get home to Harlem. Around Columbia, I see a lot of students commuting to Manhattan. Around Union Square, I witness many people who, like myself, have recently transplanted to Brooklyn and take the train to and from Manhattan at peak hours.

As I’m developing a better understanding of the deep roots of immigration in the South Bronx, I have also reflected upon my own nationalities and how they have come to define my identity in this city. My mother is Iranian and my father is Polish. Both of them immigrated (for different political circumstances) to France, where I was born, before immigrating to New Jersey to raise me and my siblings. It’s been interesting to compare various waves of immigrations and understand different motives and circumstances that led to immigration for different countries and people. Because I have been exposed to different cultures and ethnicities growing up, I feel a sense of empathy in reading and learning about others’ stories of moving to new places and feeling alienated because of their ethnicity. But, the South Bronx has a rich and layered history of immigration, and understanding this vast history has been difficult to grasp as someone who hasn’t grown up in this borough.

I initially felt invasive by entering a tight-knit community where I have no real roots. But, after coming up to the South Bronx two, three times a week, I’ve began to gain familiarity with my route and the surroundings. I watch many people wave to one another, stop to chat in Spanish with their friends and family, or simply interact with their preferred Bodega clerks. But because I am researching, I almost feel that I am co-opting the space rather than necessarily engaging with it. This is something I hope to rectify by spending more time in the neighborhood and getting to know more residents first-hand. By alienated, I don’t mean to say I feel uncomfortable or unsafe, but rather, I know that I am an outsider, an observer, coming into a new environment.

My research includes interviewing musicians and participants of the music scene from specific communities in The Bronx. However, because I don’t speak Spanish, Albanian, Yemeni, or Bangladeshi, I do find it difficult reaching out to these local groups and interviewing them. I don’t want to come across as overly academic or intimidating. I also want to be sensitive of the political climate and understand that interviewing can be difficult to navigate when many people fearful of their citizenship status under the current administration, and may not wish to discuss their family backgrounds.

In general, I haven’t had any major problems in my position as a researcher. Most people are very welcoming and forthcoming. However, I do recognize my position as an outsider, especially when many of my colleagues are Bronx natives and have first-hand knowledge about the history of the Bronx from a local perspective whereas my information has mostly come from secondary sources. But this doesn’t hinder me from engaging and interacting with the vibrant neighborhood.

Commuting to the South Bronx and beginning to research various niche communities has illuminated my own limitations and boundaries in understanding what it means to experience living in New York City.