All posts by Cat Tishelman-Charny

Final MVP

Creating Classroom Community, Urban Adolescents

“Listening, we get to know and connect with them on a deeper level, knowing that those who act out and are the most troubled are usually the most in trouble and in ned of our support. We see through the trouble to the inner strength, intelligence, and tallent each student possesses.”
(Goodman, 130)

This quote stood out to me because it brought to mind multiple kids I’ve worked with when I was a summer camp counselor and an intern teaching assistant at a middle school. Kids often decide at a young age what their reputation is, or what they believe they’re thought of as. I’ve worked with kids who had already decided that they were less intelligent than others because of what they were going through or what grades they received in school. When I interned twice at a middle school, I was discretely told who to keep my eye on, because they’d often “act out”. I had the opposite problem as a kid, being told that I was my parents’ “good one” and trying to live up to that for so long. My younger brother, on the contrary, had decided at a young age that he was the “bad one”, and stuck with that for many years already. I’ve certainly noticed how these kids who seem to “act out” for attention are typically not getting enough attention from their guardians at home, if at all.

MVP: Failure of the Foster Care System

Reaching Adolescents and How to Respond, Urban Adolescents

“Between the ages of 9 and 11, Makeba was placed in seven different foster homes, and five schools. As she put it, ‘When we go to a new house, foster care kids don’t unpack our bags. ‘Cause we are so used to moving all the time’” (personal communication, September 27, 2017) (Goodman, 112)

This quote in particular stood out to me because it shows how children at that young age are already so traumatized and affected by their circumstances that they already have figured out little ways of coping. When we go through trauma, our brains can shut down or repress memories in order to protect us, and in this case, the foster children had their usual routine which was meant for them to protect themselves, whether they realized it or not. They don’t even want to feel “at home” with any of these foster families because they already realize how temporary it is. To go through seven different homes of unfamiliar families and five schools in a two year period, during critical years of development, is something I could not imagine or ever understand experiencing. I agree that the system has and continues to fail our children by giving them more trauma and less stability than they had to begin with.

MVP – Struggles of Gay Romance

Friendship, Love, & Sexuality, Urban Adolescents

“Many students observed a difference between how heterosexual and homosexual students meet their dating partners. Alex stated: ‘It’s a lot different because heterosexual guys or girls could just, like, go outside of the door and they will see a lot of people and, it’s like, for a homosexual guy or girl, it is like a treasure hunt; you have to go around and look.’”
(Castro and Sujak, 464)

This quote in particular stood out to me because I go through this constantly and my straight friends and family don’t quite understand. When I was in high school, I tried going to two different LGBTQ+ groups in my county, another in college, another when I transferred to NYU, and another now that I’m old enough to go to gay girl bars. For years, I’ve felt that I have to actively seek out other gay women whereas my friends can meet someone in school or in any public place casually and discover a romantic and/or physical connection. On top of that, most gay women I meet are already in longterm relationships. Most gay women I find on Tinder have boyfriends and just want a three-way with another woman. I have to really go out of my way just to meet other gay women and I’ve grown tired of LGBTQ+ group meetings because throwing together a group of gay people is like throwing together a group of people with green eyes. Sure, we have one thing in common which we cannot control, but it does not mean we automatically have any real connection. It takes enough effort to even find other gay women, and even more to find single women who I could have a romantic connection with, and I would love for more straight people to understand this specific struggle.

MVP #10: Individualized Plans and Experiences

Gender Socialization & Identities, Urban Adolescents

“In the spirit of honoring student autonomy, school counselors should not immediately assume what the student needs, but rather should begin by offering the student support and understanding. Through conversations, school counselors can garner a sense of individual student needs and work towards developing a plan to assist the student and student population” (Kurt, 14)

This passage stood out to me because it shows how complicated and individualistic the process is for helping transgender or gender nonconforming students. The experience varies wildly based on factors such as region, culture, religion and an individual’s home life. Every student has their own goals, barriers and levels of comfort. Confidentiality of the student makes these experiences more complicated as well. My first year of college, one of my roommates was a trans woman who was not out to her parents yet. Not only did I have to respect her name and pronouns, but I also had to respect her desires to be called a different name and set of pronouns in front of her parents when they’d come to the dorm to visit. I was asked to take down my rainbow pride flag temporarily while her parents were there in order to protect her from any possible danger. This was part of her individual experience which can differ greatly from someone else’s.

MVP #9 – Immigration in 2018 US

Newcomers & Perpetual Foreigners, Urban Adolescents

“The anti-immigrant climate they are living in causes unauthorized students and those in mixed-status families to live in constant fear of losing their parents and other family members in raids and random stops. Some undocumented parents in New Mexico and other border states keep their children home from school for fear of being arrested when they drop them off at school, or being stopped at border patrol checkpoints on the roads along the way there” (Goodman, 57)

This passage stood out to me because it shows the dangerous consequences of the hateful anti-immigrant rhetoric coming from the top of our government, particularly the president. When a leader makes hateful, bigoted comments, it shows the people that it is acceptable to act this way. We see this hateful rhetoric put into action in the form of hate crimes and violent, often deadly, acts of domestic terrorism. The people who spread this hateful rhetoric are not at all aware or familiar with the immigration process, even though the United States is a country of immigrants. Xenophobic misconceptions cause people to believe or pretend to believe lies, which end up putting innocent people in danger.