MVP – Struggles of Gay Romance

“Many students observed a difference between how heterosexual and homosexual students meet their dating partners. Alex stated: ‘It’s a lot different because heterosexual guys or girls could just, like, go outside of the door and they will see a lot of people and, it’s like, for a homosexual guy or girl, it is like a treasure hunt; you have to go around and look.’”
(Castro and Sujak, 464)

This quote in particular stood out to me because I go through this constantly and my straight friends and family don’t quite understand. When I was in high school, I tried going to two different LGBTQ+ groups in my county, another in college, another when I transferred to NYU, and another now that I’m old enough to go to gay girl bars. For years, I’ve felt that I have to actively seek out other gay women whereas my friends can meet someone in school or in any public place casually and discover a romantic and/or physical connection. On top of that, most gay women I meet are already in longterm relationships. Most gay women I find on Tinder have boyfriends and just want a three-way with another woman. I have to really go out of my way just to meet other gay women and I’ve grown tired of LGBTQ+ group meetings because throwing together a group of gay people is like throwing together a group of people with green eyes. Sure, we have one thing in common which we cannot control, but it does not mean we automatically have any real connection. It takes enough effort to even find other gay women, and even more to find single women who I could have a romantic connection with, and I would love for more straight people to understand this specific struggle.