The Intimate Relationships of Sexual Minority Youth
by Diamond, L & Savin-Williams, R.C.
reply by Shu Shi
“…many youths have considerable difficulty discerning whether the feeling and fantasies they experience for same-sex partners (whether real or imagined) are ‘real’ sexual desires” (p. 402). – by Diamond & Savin-Williams
Adolescents are eager for creating intimacy with peers. They may be confused about the sexual and affectional feelings, and maybe especially confused about the question “which type of feeling is better evidence of their sexual orientation?” The authors Diamond and Savin-Williams revealed that through the interview of adolescents, they found adolescents are short of resources to access to health educators and don’t have knowledgeable adults around them to confide in their secrets (p402). However, for some adolescents living in rural areas or minority-ethnic communities, even if health educators were available, most struggling adolescents would not go to them for help. People living in the acquaintance society usually don’t have awareness to protect other people’s privacy. As Diamond and Savin-Williams claimed in the earlier part of this chapter (p.397-p.399), in some relative conservative communities, parents, authoritative figures and even teachers consider the sexual nonconformity as a moral violation, so instead of seeking help to figure out their confused sexual orientation, adolescents tend to lock their real sexual orientation and affectional feelings away in their heart. As teachers, we have received enough training to become the effective knowledge deliverers, but we still need to be armed with scientific knowledge to help out our students to objectively look at the minority sexual issues.
Shu Shi,
I’m wondering what you mean by ‘acquaintance society’ and how people don’t have the awareness to protect other peoples’ privacy. Are you saying that youth don’t open up to adults about sexuality because they’re afraid the adults will talk about them? I feel like there are many positive message we as adults can offer younger people (not particularly about sex or sexuality) to assure them that we are resources they can trust and seek information from. Students should also be provided with a confidential and safe space to talk about these issues, whether it’s an LGBTQQ alliance, the nurse’s office, a school counselor…one of the most important things we can do is make our students feel safe and assured and able to ask questions.