Thus, anti-bullying discourses do not offer symbolic or practical resources that boys can call upon for help in negotiating violence and conflict. Rather, bully discourses support the institutionalised structures of masculinity and the normalised gendered power hierarchies and are therefore reproductive of normative social violences, instead of offering viable tools for mediating conflicts for either children or adults. (Ringrose & Renold, 2010, p.584)

This quote speaks to the truth of how engrained bullying is in our society where, as long as preconceived gender norms are in place, there should be no qualms when it comes to rowdy physical bullying between boys and invisible psychological bullying between girls. It’s normal, right? Yet again, we run into the old “boys will be boys” and “girls can be scary” spiels, leaving many children and adults to fend for themselves without help or support since their predicament is following a “norm.” This quote also ties neatly in with chapter 4 of It’s Not About Grit: Trauma, Inequity, and the Power of Transformative Teaching, by Steven Goodman (2018), in which a similar statement is expressed concerning LGBTQ youth: many anti-bullying programs and discourses do not include bullying toward LGBTQ students in schools. As in the case of this quote, it is when one acts outside of one’s own gender norm, such as a boy physically bullying a girl, in which precautions may be taken. In the case of the LGBTQ youth emphasized in Goodman’s book, bullying occurs to students who do not fit a gender “norm,” calling the attention of those who do fit the “norm,” and are treated by faculty as if the bullying they experience is either invisible, untrue or justifiable. In many cases, the LGBTQ students are the ones who receive the blame. This goes back to the fact that, as teachers, we need to be aware of our possible preconceived biases we may have toward students and certain situations. As this quote mentions, there is an institutionalized structure of masculinity leading to “normative social violences” engrained in our society, and it is best to be aware of its existence and think critically about it, especially when witnessing or being told of a bullying incident in school. We have to provide safe spaces for our students where they may feel safe, accepted and heard, not turned away, “othered” and belittled.