Monthly Archives: November 2018

Homosexuality should be treated impartially

Friendship, Love, & Sexuality

“I will never forget an in-service workshop we had one day within my first year. A group, PFLAG (Parents, families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays), was coming in to discuss their involvement in the community, the resources they offer, etc. A couple of my colleagues refused to attend, saying they don’t agree with homosexuality and they are not going to have it shoved down their throats. To watch them respond in that way made me wonder how they would respond to a student who may come to them with gender identity issues” (Castro, I.E, & Sujak, M.C. 2014)

Sexual minority, especially homosexuality, has been a popular topic and discussed by people for a very long time. As the educators, how could we help with these situations? What schools and teachers can actually do to help with the sexual minority? I think people should have an impartial attitude when facing the gender and their sexual direction. In China, homosexuality is still an issue, which people are hard to accept homosexuality in a short time, let alone the school services. I think schools and educators should have a right attitude towards the homosexuality students and those minority students. From La Greca and Harrison (2005), they found out that heterosexual adolescents who were not dating were more likely to report anxiety symptoms compared to youth who were dating. That is to say, dating has some benefits: it can increase people’s social abilities, especially communication skills.
However, adolescents are more often staying at school, so providing a good environment for those minority students school make them feels safe and positive.

“Marica” in Colombia: A feeler, NOT a Filler

Urban Adolescents

“Almost all of LGBTQ students (98.1%)
heard “gay” used in a negative way
(e.g., “that’s so gay”) at school; 67.4%
heard these remarks frequently or
often, and 93.4% reported that they felt
distressed because of this language.
• 95.8% of LGBTQ students heard other
types of homophobic remarks (e.g.,
“dyke” or “faggot”); 58.8% heard this
type of language frequently or often.” (GLSEN, 2015 page 5)

In an atmosphere of questioning it all, from guilt to shoe taste, from desire to excess, it is only fair to question language as well. Colombians use the word “marica” as a conversation filler, almost in the same frequency as Americans use “like”. The difference is the literal meaning of the word. It can be translated as an adjective used negatively, into the words “gay” or “fag”, and it can also be used with this intention. It can be the replacement of “dude” to refer to anyone (someone you know, someone you barely know, someone you don’t know, someone you like, someone you do not like) or it can be used as “fool” or “gullible”. There are rules to use it pragmatically so that they can fit a particular register or situation. A native Colombian would know perfectly when, how, where and who to use it with. It is such part of the “evolution” or “involution” of language, such a result of the innovation of words, that even if it bothers some older generations, most of us are used to it. We’ve normalized it.
Shouldn’t we question this too? The normalization of a word that refers to men that perform in feminine manners, says something deeper about our language. Language is a changing entity, a live creature that collides, merges, pullulates. The structure of language is an opportunity to reflect upon our reality. We cannot speak without thinking because we may reject those questions and reflections we have asked ourselves through out existence. When we use the word “marica” in a particular context, it is not just a normalized use of a former unpleasant word, but it is rather informing me of something that has happened to my language. Carolina Sanín, a brilliant Colombian writer, described it as a “problem that she has posed (SHE refers to the tongue which is feminine in Spanish). She is informing of an idea about the being in my language who has become sayable, audible and ordinary”. Sanín continues: “Grammatical warning does not limit me, it reminds me that I am within language and it gives me mobility inside it… it is mine but not only mine… it is the bond between speakers… in a shared vehicle.” So what’s the reason behind the use of this word? Is it offensive to the LGBTQ community back home as in the survey? What is it telling about Colombian social structures? How did it permeate so many conversations without people noticing? Do we notice?

MVP – Struggles of Gay Romance

Friendship, Love, & Sexuality, Urban Adolescents

“Many students observed a difference between how heterosexual and homosexual students meet their dating partners. Alex stated: ‘It’s a lot different because heterosexual guys or girls could just, like, go outside of the door and they will see a lot of people and, it’s like, for a homosexual guy or girl, it is like a treasure hunt; you have to go around and look.’”
(Castro and Sujak, 464)

This quote in particular stood out to me because I go through this constantly and my straight friends and family don’t quite understand. When I was in high school, I tried going to two different LGBTQ+ groups in my county, another in college, another when I transferred to NYU, and another now that I’m old enough to go to gay girl bars. For years, I’ve felt that I have to actively seek out other gay women whereas my friends can meet someone in school or in any public place casually and discover a romantic and/or physical connection. On top of that, most gay women I meet are already in longterm relationships. Most gay women I find on Tinder have boyfriends and just want a three-way with another woman. I have to really go out of my way just to meet other gay women and I’ve grown tired of LGBTQ+ group meetings because throwing together a group of gay people is like throwing together a group of people with green eyes. Sure, we have one thing in common which we cannot control, but it does not mean we automatically have any real connection. It takes enough effort to even find other gay women, and even more to find single women who I could have a romantic connection with, and I would love for more straight people to understand this specific struggle.

“Man Up”: When Culture Messes with Basic Human Needs

Friendship, Love, & Sexuality

Drawing from years of research, Eliot concludes ‘infant brains are so malleable that small differences at birth become amplified over time, as parents, teachers, peers, and the culture at large unwittingly reinforce gender stereotypes . . . Girls are not naturally more empathetic than boys, they are just allowed to express their feelings more.'” (Way, 2011, p. 28)

This quote really highlights how from a very small age, children are psychologically impacted by the culture that surrounds them. As discussed in the article, boys are just as in need of male friendships as girls are in need of female friendships. They provide security, stability, and an outlet for students–whether they need to confide in someone, let out steam, ask for advice, or just have someone to talk to and laugh with, a friend can provide this support. Continue reading “Man Up”: When Culture Messes with Basic Human Needs →