“The Guy Code, and the Boy Code, before it, demands that boys and young men shut down emotionally, that they suppress compassion and inflate ambition. And it extracts compliance with coercion and fear.”  ( Way, 2011,p5)

“The participants who stood with close friends gave significantly lower estimates of the steepness of the hill than those who stood alone, next to strangers, or to newly formed friends. The longer the close friends had known each other, the less steep the hill appeared to the participants involved in the study. In other words, the world was perceived as less difficult when standing next to a close friend than when standing next to someone who was less close or no one at all.” (Way, 2011, p9)

I truly had strong feelings for both paragraphs above and wanted to combine them to address some issues. The Guy Code, or the Boy Code is not only an American style but also widely applied in China where it is strange to see guys being emotionally sensitive or having intimate same-sex friendships. After reading this article, I feel even more sympathy for guys since I know that guys do need express their feelings and have someone to talk about things yet they are suffering from the Guy Code, the gender stereotype so that they often times shut down their emotions. Speaking of this issue, I do have a lot to say about my dad to whom I always used Guy Code when I was young. For me my dad is a typical example of masculinity. He always takes huge responsibility and protects our whole family, leaving a little for my mom and I to worry about. I’ve never seen him cry or even shed a tear; I’ve never seen him talk to anyone about his sadness or depression. The only way I knew for his expressing sadness was to keep silent. And this led me to conclude that this is what a real man should be. However, as I growing up, I started to worry about him. How did he let go the negative feelings? How was he able to tolerate the huge pressure if he had nowhere to relieve, nobody to talk?

Fortunately, I found that he has friends although not many. And the second paragraph I quoted which was the result and conclusion of an experiment conducted by researchers further proved that friendship is extremely and equally important to both males and females. The researchers asked college students to stand at a hill carrying a weighted backpack and estimate the steepness of the hill, and the result showed that those who stood with close friends had lower estimate of the steepness than those who stood alone. I was particularly touched by the last sentence “In other words, the world was perceived as less difficult when standing next to a close friend than when standing next to someone who was less close or no one at all.” This best presented the significance of friendship. And back to my dad. I felt relieved when I knew that he could talk about his depression, his struggling, his concerns and maybe even fear to his best friends. It’s not about complaining, it’s about sharing and letting off his emotions.

Friendship is always one of the strongest bonds among human beings which should not be confined only to females. Guys need intimate friends with whom they can talk, share and be themselves.