“Bless her heart, but…”

“[…] the pregnant teenager is seen as having overstepped the boundaries of appropriate reproductive practice. Not yet an adult and typically pregnant out-of-wedlock, she finds her body the focus of moral concern and the target of public outrage. Pillow identifies the paradox inherent in this construction—the pregnant teenager is fulfilling her ‘feminine’ responsibility by bearing children, yet in a fashion that is not deemed acceptable by the public.”

An excerpt from Proweller’s Re-Writing/-Righting Lives: Voices of Pregnant and Parenting Teenagers in an Alternative School

I grew up in a small town in Texas where Baptist churches were as numerous as the Starbucks coffee shops in NYC: on just about every street corner. Many of my teachers were vocal about their faith and my 8th grade health class went something along the lines of, “Don’t have sex before you get married. It’s stupid, it’s a sin, and here’s a list of all of the terrible infections and diseases you’re bound to contract if you do.” Needless to say, there was little to no talk of potential preventive measures. This personal anecdote is what caused this particular passage to stand out so boldly to me. Over the years, I’ve grown weary over the paradox and hypocrisy concerning unwed mothers (particularly in the south). For those who choose to keep their baby, they must find the courage to withstand the judgmental looks and gossip fluttering about, whereas those who choose not to follow through with their pregnancy are equally condemned. The “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” mentality around out-of-wedlock pregnancies leaves no room for joy and celebration of the beautiful new life that is to come! In both Proweller’s and Schellenbach, Leadbeater, and Moore’s articles, I observed the importance and the impact that a loving and supportive community can have on young mothers. I believe with every ounce of my being that, though prevention of teenage pregnancies ought to be addressed, we must rid ourselves of our self-righteousness and be a caring and generous people, educators, church-goers and non-church goers alike.