“Disruptions in relationships with noncustodial fathers appear to be more extensive and long-lasting than in mother-adolescent relationships, showing links to adjustment and relationships of offspring a decade later during young adulthood.” – Collins & Laursen P.32

I grow up in a divorced family and I have to admit this definitely has great influences on me in many ways till adulthood. Like the article mentioned about the period of adjustment, I had it too. I had strong indignation toward noncustodial father’s mandatory visit every Saturday. I hated my father not caring what I felt and insisted seeing me. I complained my mother about why I had to see my noncustodial father every Saturday. I would start panic on Thursday night about my father’s visit by screaming, yelling, and crying without control. This happened like a soap opera every week again and again. That also impacted my schooling performance because I had hard time to calm and focus due to anxiety of my father’s visit. Therefore, I had repetitive behavior problems in school from Thursday and Friday. Honestly, my adjustment did not succeed at all… I have not seen my father after I turned eighteen years old.

This year, my fraternal father passed away. Although I wanted to attend his funeral, I was hesitant and did not do it eventually because I was afraid of seeing my father. I realized after so many years the wound in my heart have not healed yet. I decided to see a therapist to face this part of me after so many years. Therapist sessions are very constructive and I wish any of my teachers could notice my repetitive behavior patterns and provided me some help such as referring to school counselors. Teachers may not be able to give direct solutions to solve the problems. However, teachers can refer issues to corresponding professionals in school and follow up any accommodations or modifications suggested by professionals such as counselors in classes.