“Barry Loukaitas, who killed his algebra teacher and two other students in Moses Lake, Washington, was an honor student who especially loved math, he was also constantly teased and described as a “shy nerd.” And Evan Ramsay, who killed one student and the high school principal in Bethel, Alaska, was also an honor student who was teased for wearing glasses and having acne.”
Reading Kimmel’s article “I am not insane; I am angry” was really a sad and painful experience. From him, I learned that most of American high school shooters were long-term bully victims only because they were shy, lonely, smart, skinny, wearing glasses and having acne, and even because they loved study and were honor students. They shot just in order to revenge, to show their manhood, and to win the respect.
It reminds me of one of my high school classmates who was also bullied for the same reasons. He was short, not good looking, having a lot of acne, and extremely shy. He barely spoke to anyone, and if he had to spoke to someone, he stuttered, never made eye contact and just stared at the floor embarrassedly, and his face would turn red completely. Teachers rarely noticed him because he was always quite and did fine academically. Boys didn’t play with him because they did not want to be labeled as the same kind of person as him. Girls didn’t talk to him because it was said that he was a pervert and there had been some porn literature found in his desk. I still clearly remember that one day, when I entered classroom after a recess, boys were excitedly throwing a seriously torn book all around, and he was just standing there, anxious and helpless. The result was that he was suspended because of the porn book.
Afterwards, we graduated from high school and I have never seen him again since then. But from one of my classmates at a reunion party, I heard that he became a well-known writer in our province and had already published a series of novels. Of course, most of his works were connected to his dark adolescent years, and even the porn literature had aroused his inspirations of creation. Thank God! He didn’t become a school shooter or a serial killer; he eventually survived from the bullying and won respect through his achievement.
As Kimmel pointed out, “Most boys who are bullied, harassed, and baited survive” because of several possible factors, including a “charismatic adult who makes a substantial difference in the life of the boy,” or a male friend, the one who seems to be strong and manly, who can “validate the boy’s sense of himself as a man,” or a female friend, who can “validate their sense of masculinity,” or a private passion that can provide them the sense of being valued and thus helps to divert their attention from the negative feelings to the positive ones. I think that my classmate’s survival and success may be attributed to the last factor — a private passion, which was writing.
However, what if he did not have the talent and passion for writing? Could he still survive? I don’t know the answer, and I believe there must be tens of thousands of shy boys who are being bullied all over the world. As educators, should we just ignore the fact of bullying and wait them to survive and heal their wound by themselves? I don’t think so. Since we have chosen to be an educator, shouldn’t we also put our love, awareness, and patience into our students, especially the quiet, sensitive and psychologically fragile ones? If we can really do this, I don’t believe there will be so many broken hearts, lonely souls, and angry revengers in schools and even in our society. I always believe that education is not a field for us to become rich and powerful, but it is a place for us to help others grow and make ourselves being respected with glorious humanity.
Reference
Kimmel, M. S. (2008). Adolescent masculinity, homophobia, and violence. In M. Sadowski (Ed.), Adolescents at School: Perspectives on Youth, Identity, and Education (2nd Ed., pp. 99-116). Cambridge: Harvard Education Press.