Girls Can Be Their Own Worst Enemy

“For example, Gilligan has found that the pressures of trying to succeed academically by speaking up, but also trying to be attractive to boys by staying quiet, can cause girls to silence themselves in school.”-Michelle Galley

This quote stuck with me after I finished reading Michelle Galley’s chapter on “Who am I as a learner?” Would Girls and Boys Tend to Answer Differently?  simply because this has been a common reccurence at the school where I student teach. I’ve noticed how quiet and recluse the girls are in the 7th and 8th grades, but particularly more so in 7th grade Spanish where the girls are being surrounded by loud and rowdy boys. My CT has tried to encourage and give plenty of opportunties for the girls to participate, but they seem to not be interested or are afraid of “showing off their talents” and being marked as “unattractive” to the boys.

I know I can relate to this quote as well because I did something similar when I was in 9th grade. I had a major crush on one of the football players in my English class and I tried so hard for him to notice me, but at the same time I didn’t want to come across as smart. So, I remained quiet and didn’t speak out as much because I was hoping that I would attract my crush into liking me back, of course, it completely backfired. However, I slowly realized that by the time I reached university, guys don’t really want to be with a girl who “acts stupid,” but wants a girl who is smart, confident, and assertive. I wished I had known this earlier when I was back in high school so I didn’t have to waste my time pining over a guy who never once noticed/looked at me, but on the other hand, I don’t think my 16 year old self would’ve listened to that piece of advice either.

Since I have been student teaching, I have come across many of the girls in 7th and 8th grade who have low-esteems and poor images of themselves academically. One 8th grade girl recently has accepted the title of being called an airhead amongst her classmates. I was completely shocked that this particular 8th grader would even accept this term as her label because 1. she is popular and 2. I don’t consider her an airhead at all, but someone who is a good student/person when she wants to be. So, how can we as educators prevent our students, particularly adolescent girls between the ages of 13-16, in thinking that they can’t be smart in order to attract the opposite sex?