“Some brain-scan studies, in fact, suggest that our brains react to peer exclusion much as they respond to threats to physical health or food supply… in other words, we perceive social rejection as a threat to existence.” (Dobbs 2011)
A few months ago there was a segment on This American Life, about teenagers and what they find important. Three young girls who had just entered high school came on the show to talk about school hierarchy, social media, and a multitude of other topics. While the rest of the podcast has long since faded from my memory, the one point that has stuck with me since were these “rules” of social media.
These unwritten rules included not posting twice a day, liking all of your friend’s picture the minute they post it, and commenting some type of exaggerated comment on your friend’s picture. But as if following these rules weren’t enough, these girls would also spend hours obsessing over why someone didn’t like their picture or dissecting a particular comment. As human beings, I think it’s natural for us to become fixated on aspects that can either obscure or encourage social inclusion, but the level of intensity these girls took social media had me puzzled. What does it matter if someone doesn’t like my post? And who cares if there isn’t an emoji attached to a certain comment? Of course, I’m probably a little biased because I don’t really utilize social media nor do I have much of a presence online, but even comparing my friends who do have social media to these girls, I could tell that social media had much higher stakes for these teenagers.
Dobbs reading has since shed some light on this phenomenon that I had such difficulty understanding just a few months back. Even the inkling of rejection can cause adolescents to become fixated on things that might seem trivial in our eyes. If social inclusion is like food or health for humans as adults, how much more important must it be for teenagers? As educators, I think we have to remember that things that seem trivial and inconsequential to us, may actually be a source of anxiety for adolescents. Inside of brushing their worries aside, I think it’s crucial to be more open to hearing their perspective and try to understand them, as opposed to trying to educate them all the time.
I really appreciate your connections between Dobbs’s article and the episode of “This American Life!” As teachers focused so much on curriculum and the academic success of our students, I think it’s easy to assume that our learners prioritize the same values. Wrong! I am constantly reminding myself that they’re probably absorbing 50% of what I’m saying, and the other 50% of their energy is consumed by the following thoughts, to name a few: if my outfit is cute enough today, what my classmate is wearing, who’s texting me right now, where IS my phone anyway? I need to instagram that photo I took last week but pretend I took it today, what did he mean by that FB comment?? I have that new Drake song stuck in my head, I’m hungry, thirsty, tired… crap I forgot to do that other class’s homework last night…when is that test? What are my plans this weekend? I wonder if my lab partner is into me?…
All the more reason to give adolescents new, productive experiences and guidance while their brains are still pliable and to incorporate engaging activities with relevant context that ask learners to collaborate to accomplish a task!