Aristotle concluded more than 2,300 years ago that “the young are heated by Nature as drunken men by wine”…… When this development proceeds normally, we get better at balancing impulse, desire, goals, self-interest, rules, ethics, and even altruism, generating behavior that is more complex and, sometimes at least, more sensible. But at times, and especially at first, the brain does this work clumsily. It’s hard to get all those new cogs to mesh.
Can anyone claim that he or she did not do any crazy thing in youth? At least I cannot say so, and as far as I know almost everyone close to me did crazy things when they were young. I can also find a lot of anecdotes of celebrities, political leaders, and artists about their deviant teenager years. For example, besides using weed, President Obama took an almost nude picture when he was young; in that picture, he just used a small book to hide his private part. So did his mother, Ann. You can find a bunch of her pictures that are very deviant, especially in the years when she was an adolescent. But later, she became a serious and responsible scholar in anthropology. We can also read stories about Tony Blair, the former Prime Minister of Great Britain, that he colored his hair to bight red when he was young. Although dyeing is no longer a big deal nowadays, however, in half a century ago, it was still something crazy.
I also did untraditional things during my secondary school years. For example, in the summer after I graduated from middle school, I suddenly felt that I was no longer a little girl and I should have the ability and the right to do something that only adults were allowed to do. Then, I secretly took a cigarette from my dad’s pocket and smoked it for the first time in my room. However, the experience was not as exciting as I imagined; I was choked to cry. With fear and sickness, I dissipated the smoke out of the window.
All above are just to demonstrate Aristotle’s idea: “the young are heated by Nature as drunken men by wine.” He said this 2,300 years ago, but it still applies in our modern society. Scientists have proposed all kinds of hypotheses to try to explain the secrets behind adolescence: some claim that adolescence is just a unique period of time in which human brains are subject to reorganization; and some assert that there is a power that urges youths to search for novelty, risks and peer relations so that he could complete the transition of moving from home to outside world independently.
Either one sounds reasonable, but here the most important thing is how parents, educators, and the society should do to help them make the transition smoothly. I pretty much appreciate the author’s suggestion: “parents engage and guide their teens with a light but steady hand, staying connected but allowing independence, their kids generally do much better in life.” Sometime, we can also tell them our own struggles when we were young to offer them some wisdom to settle down their emotion upheavals.
I clearly remember my dad’s reaction after he found I smoked his cigarette. He smelt by taking a deep breath in my room, and then calmly said to the frightened me: “you seem like having learned something new recently, but, I believe you know what is more valuable to learn, right? ” He maintained my dignity and at the same time gave me a warning. After that, I never tried it again even under the so-called peer pressure. I appreciate his calmness and patience, and these are very crucial when we interact with adolescents.
Reference
Dobbs, D. (2011, October). Beautiful brains. National Geographic Magazine. Available from http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/print/2011/10/teenage-brains/dobbs-text.
Thank you for being so open about sharing a personal experience. I really liked your point that we can look to well known adults like celebrities and/or politicians and see a “deviant” act in their adolescence. I think as adults, we are often too quick to judge adolescents and need to think back to how we were. Not to say that they should be able to absolutely anything, but we as educators of adolescence should recognize that some “deviant” or risky behavior is normal.
Love this post, because it is so true. I always shocks and upsets me, and certainly did in my teenaged years, how many adults judge young people so hard for any kind of transgression when they were kids once too! This is something I think about a lot as an educator, and I think it can actually be dangerous to have too high expectations for teens in this regard. Literally, nobody is perfect and it is actually normal, due to lower impulse control and search for identity and belonging, for teens to experiment as far as deviant behaviors are concerned. I’ll be totally honest, at risk of judgment. As a high schooler, especially in my last two years, I drank somewhat regularly and occasionally smoked pot. And I am an NYU Master’s student in good standing, planning to become a teacher. Presumably fairly upstanding. Everyone makes risky decisions when they are too young to really understand the notion of risk. For me, the crucial element that kept me safe was good parents and teachers. I strive to be like them in schools and with my own children someday; the adults in my life never said, “Do not drink, do not smoke–just do not do it because you will be in huge trouble.” They recognized that I would be much safer if I knew how to be careful if I was going to do these things, and they knew that the more understanding they were, the more likely I was to talk openly to them about these things. My mother always said to me, “If you ever find yourself at a party with no ride home, having had too much to drink, call me. If you call me for a ride home and don’t take a ride with friends or (God forbid) try to drive home yourself, I promise you will not get punished. I’ll just be glad you called me.” This was a really powerful thing for me. Although my parents clearly explained the consequences of my behavior, they also let me know that I was not a problem child, but a teen going through a normal process that included making not so great decisions. More importantly, they let me know that they would be there for me no matter what. In doing this, they opened a discussion about risky behaviors, and were able to teach me how to realistically stay safe. So aside from accepting that even the most successful people have questionable moments as teenagers, it is also so important to know how to handle this fact as an educator!