“‘Don’t cross the line into insulting a student by the way you talk to them–the line can be fuzzy.’ – Alexis”

– Cushman, “Classroom Behavior” (p. 50)

I found the quotations throughout this book chapter to be spot on representations of how I experienced middle school teaching. I was thankfully trained and certified in middle school methods during my undergrad, so I was very much so aware of the ramifications of publicly shaming a student. Still, some things you don’t really understand until you are in the trenches and experiencing it for yourself. I found out it’s possible to insult or embarrass a student by accident, so not only did I have to remember not to actively shame a student, but I had to be hyperaware of my word choices and responses to ensure they always contained a positive reinforcement and could not be misconstrued by a sensitive ego. 

I find that a lot of teachers fall into the trap of using passive aggressive questions to condemn behaviors, such as, “What made you think you could just hang out in the hallway?” or “How many times do we have to go over this?” Such questions can be fun after a strong rapport is built, but until that point, the student’s confidence in your classroom can take a huge hit.

In Dr. Kirkland’s “Hip Hop in the English Classroom” course last semester, we did a brilliant simulation in which different groups received different levels of privilege and discrimination. I ended up in the oppressed group. It was astonishingly painful to struggle through the game and then be continuously reprimanded by Dr. Kirkland, even though he was masking his disappointment behind cliche teacher phrases and false empathy, like “I know you guys can do this. You just need to work harder like the other teams” and “I’m trying to help you. Why can’t you just get it together?” We genuinely were trying, but the cards were stacked against us (unknowingly) in this roleplay, and it was infuriating to be condescended to in this way.

I returned to my sixth grade classroom the next day with a new perspective. I no longer saw students’ misbehaviors or shortcomings as defiance or laziness, but instead, just tried to respond neutrally to everything that happened. For some students, this was difficult; perhaps our relationship was already damaged beyond repair. However, for a good handful of other students, I was able to form stronger connections with them because I no longer assumed the worst from them. These students were used to being scolded and shamed every period of every day, so to experience the gift of dignity from one teacher brought out a new side to them. Instead of taking advantage of me and my new empathy, they responded by showing me a more ambitious, dedicated, and resilient version of themselves. They actually began acting out less frequently and participated more often.