Polite but firm

Don’t overuse ‘please.’ 

If you say ‘please’ too much, they think it’s an option. DARYL”

 

I chose this very short bit because it struck me on two different levels. First, with my own practice. I think it’s important to be polite. I was raised in an environment where ‘no’ or ‘yes’ was never an appropriate answer if it was not immediately followed by either ‘m’am’ or ‘sir’. My desire to always be polite was further fueled by my experience as an English teacher in Japan. Politeness is built into the way that verbs and other words are conjugated in Japanese. Because of this it is easy for many Japanese people to assume that Americans and English are not polite. Based on my background, I found this a little insulting and attempted to put the record straight. As a result, I am very conscious of always using ‘please’ and thank you’ in the classroom. It’s what I expect from students, so it’s only logical that I model my expectations. However, Daryl makes a very good point. There’s a fine line between being polite and sounding like I’m begging. I hope to continue to model politeness while exhibiting leadership and firmness by being more aware of this line.

The second reason I chose this quote is because in the process of writing up my focal learner study, I’ve been thinking a lot about my experience at Essex Street. In one of the classes, one teacher in particular was very politely asking my learner to follow instructions. She used phrases like “could you do this for me”. At the time, it struck me as a potentially interesting strategy. However, in reflection, this teacher wasn’t getting the reaction she wanted. The teachers who were more successful in getting my learner to comply were much firmer.