Caring Connections- Mentoring Relationships in the Lives of Urban Grils

by Jean E. Rhodes, Anita A. Davis, Leslie R. Prescott, and Renée Spencer

reply by Shu Shi

“…‘relationships between girls and adult women may be particularly critical during the transition into adolescence’ because girls at this juncture are eager to ‘seek out and listen attentively to advice from women’” (as cited in Rhodes, et al.)

I have several supportive nonparent adults around me when I was growing up. I often confided my secrets to them and always could obtain many beneficial suggestions. I have a female friend who is fifteen years older than me. One day she told me that she just got a new job in a famous American Non-Government Organization (NGO). It was 1999 when many people in China didn’t know what NGO was. She brought me, a high school student, to her new office and introduced me to her American colleagues. With more communication with her and her colleagues, I knew that the capability of speaking English can help me get a job in such an optimal workplace, and that only master or doctor graduates are qualified to apply for positions in this organization. These informal “orientations” enlightened me. I began to thinking about working in an American organization and studying in an American university. These big friends are younger than my parents and are well educated. I learned a lot by listening to their feedback and suggestions. Until now I feel grateful to have these big friends as life mentors.

I often see teachers in elementary and secondary school will invite parents to visit school for “Parents Day”. Actually, teachers can encourage students to share what these students have learned from the nonparent adults around them. Teachers can even spend a day, inviting nonparent adults to school. Through the activity, students will find they actually have many adults to support them, and students will be willing to open themselves to people around them; also teachers will know their students from other adults’ perspectives.