“Everyone is doing it”

“In this conversation we heard young men who were worried about HIV/AIDS but who still preferred to have sex ‘raw’.”

-Sexuality Education and Desire: Still Miss after All These Years (Fine, 2006)

             When I read this statement, the first sentence shows in my head is “this is teenagers’ characteristic. This is what they ‘like’ to do.” What do teenagers like to do? They like to take risk. According to the statement, even boys know it is possible to have transmitted diseases, they still like to take the chances for ‘raw’ sex in order to search more pleasure. I think this is irresponsible behavior to self and to the girls. The rate of HIV or teen mom is increasing in these days due to the raw sex. When you ask the reason for the raw sex, it is a tragedy to hear teenagers say, “every body is doing it (raw sex)”. This message put the pressure on those teenagers who feel uncomfortable to do it. It makes them feel it is supposed to have raw sex. It sounds to have more fun. I mean raw sex is a choice. I mean when teenagers do it, they should understand what responsibility behind their decisions.

Chapter 1:

The Hidden Landscape of Boys Friendships

By: Aptor, T

Among adult men and women, research also indicates that those who have close friendships or strong social support networks are less prone to depression and more likely to thrive in all areas of their lives than their more isolated peers. Having friendships among adults has been found to be more predictive of psychological and physical health than having spouses or extended family members. In a six-year study of 736 middle-aged men, attachment to a single person did not appear to lower the risk of heart attack and fatal coronary heart disease, whereas having close friendships did. Smoking was the only risk factor comparable in strength to lack of friendship support. Health researchers find that people with strong friendships are less likely than others to get colds and other common illnesses, which they hypothesize may be due to having lower stress levels, and that people with fewer friends are at higher risk of death.

Reply:

“The Guy Code” that lays the foundation for all of my friendships, male and female, revolve around respect, loyalty, and honesty. Conversations of love, friendship, relationships, and family come up naturally and often when I get together with my closest male friends. I have always been taught by the male role models in my family to be care free, and to take my academics seriously while in pursuit of my dreams, and interests. The male role models in my family have advised that women and friends can be a distraction, and that they can cloud my mind, leading me away from my path to success. I have always been taught to do everything on my own. Individuality is an important trait that my friends and I have always valued. My “circle” of close male friends push each other to seek out of life the golden strands that are laid out for each and every one of us. We all have a path to follow. At the end of each path every man and woman has people, men and women, that they would like to thank for their influence. To say that men don’t have intimate relationships, and that we are “only out for one thing” is a lie. All humans need intimate friendships. Humans naturally gather together. We all have codes, not just “guy codes.” Some women have more male friends than female friends and vice versa, the same way some men have more female friends than male friends or vice versa. Intimate friendships happen naturally, and there are most certainly intimate friendships between circles of men.