Many participants said that for as long as they could remember, their parents did not allow them to spend recreational time outdoors. For some, their only time outside was the weekday commutes to and from school – anything more was deemed far too dangerous.
(Succeeding in the city: A Report by the New York City Black and Latino Male High School Achievement Study)

When I was around the ages of 10 and 11 I remember wondering why it always felt like the boys in my class had so much more freedom. They were allowed to walk home by themselves, stop for food on their way home, and go to the store by themselves, but my mother would never let me do any of those things. At around the ages of 14 and 15, I began to realize that the same boys that had the freedom to go to the store were now calling their parents for, what seemed like, everything. They would have to call their parents when we got to the train, when we arrived at school, when we were leaving school, and when they got off the train.

This never made sense to me until one day I had a conversation with my own mother about this topic. I asked her if she would treat me differently if I were a boy and she told me that she wouldn’t want to, but that unfortunately she probably would treat me differently because of habits that she gained when she was raised. She explained to me that boys are expected to uphold certain roles in society such as, taking care of themselves outside so that eventually they can protect women and going to the store because they need to make sure that the household is maintained. Unfortunately, as young boys get older they start to grow features that begin to make them look more threatening towards society and mothers begin to worry. So a mother will get upset about what they wear and expect more phone calls because they are constantly concerned about their sons safety.

I think it is surprising that young men have this experience where they change from boy to man in the eyes of society. I understand that women probably go through the same experience, but women grow up and become more intriguing for society. We grow and mature in places that make us appealing for society, whereas some men have a similar experience but most men can be viewed as threatening. Especially when a young man has the mature features of a man, but the childish mindset of a young boy.

Telling my child that the only time they can spend outside is at school or on their commute to school just doesn’t seem fair. It almost seems destructive to prevent boys from spending time outside, but it also seems like a price that we must pay for living in the city.