“Adolescents want to learn primarily, but not entirely, from their friends. At some level and at some times (and it’s the parent’s job to spot when), the teen recognizes that the parent can offer certain kernels of wisdom – knowledge valued not becuase it comes from parental authority but because it comes from the parent’s own struggles to learn how the world truns. The teen rightly perceives that she must understand not just her parens’ world but also the one she is entering.” – Dobbs
My response: When children enter adolescence, their self-awareness develops rapidly. At this time, adolescents understand that they are already an individual in the world. Even they are not yet an adult but they start getting ready to be an adult physically and psychologically. I am saying this because I did have this similar experience when I was applying for colleges in China. All the colleges I applied for were not in my home city because I wanted to live in dormitory and to give me more freedom to explore college life. Sometimes parents are too protective to children because they do their best to prevent children from any harm that they have already known about. But they forget that the world is changing, the challenges and ordeals for children is changing as well. Children have to learn and face to the world they are living in. The role of parents and teachers is to support and to give advice when they are facing new challenges instead of to impose their own choices and decisions in children.
Yeah. I agree with you Wenxi. In some cases, I feel like most Chinese parents are too protective to their kids. One of reasons could “The Only Child” Policy in China. Every family has only one child, so it makes sense for the parents give all of the love to them. Also, when I came to New York, I find out American kids are more independent than Chinese kids. One reasons for this could be the American parents offer more spaces and opportunities for their kids to explore their lives.
Hi Wenxi,
I think you have made a great point that children will eventually face the word by themselves. They need to practice their strategies about how to blend in the society and how to interact with others. My parents often told me it’s okay to make mistakes because they still are able to cover my mistakes, but it’s important to sharpen my skills before I could live myself. Also, the world is changing, parents’ old experience might not work so well for this generation, especially with the high speed revolution of technology, it’s harder for them to catch up with the world even more. So, I agree with you, let it go, don’t restrain too much of your kids, and let them find their own way.