Category: Stories of Illness

Final Documentation

Title: TBD

Description: 

  • A lino print project that shows interaction with self – focuses on self judgement. Development from my last project 
  • A mixed media project that incorporates traditional lino cut print, laser cutting, and sewing. The project aims to show the hardships one may face in terms of confronting their own feelings to themselves. It shows the artist’s habit of avoiding personal experiences, history, and emotions and losing a sense of self.
  • “Two panel comic” – reading from left to right 

Ideation Prccoess: 

  • I first wanted to make a book — a zine sort of a type. I had never explored this medium before, so I thought it’d be interesting to try out. I also wanted to make it more ‘interactive’ by making into a flip book. With the users having to physically flip a section of page to reveal the next page, I thought the element of shock would be greater. I also wanted to explore mimicing a conversation between the art and the audience without verbal words. The audience is ‘asking’ the book by flipping the page, and the book responds by revealing the next page. 
  • I wanted to lasercut lino blocks instead of engraving it because I thought hand engraving 20ish tiny lino blocks would’ve been very time consuming and difficult. 

Initial Protoypes:

Harships; Pros/Cons: 

  • I did not like the fact that the ink stamps made the book very messy looking. I did get feedback saying that users actually liked the messy look. People said the accidental finger prints made it look more hand made and personal. 
  • I also wish that the cover was a hard cover so that it looked more put together. 
  • I did enjoy book binding. I think this was a good exploration step I took towards the final project. I’m glad I have these tools in my toolbox for my future projects.

Change of medium:

  • After this exploration, I decided to change the medium (kind of). I still wanted to incorporate print making because I really love traditional medium.
  • This time, I wanted to make a bigger project (physically). 

Inspiration:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1QSLO6E7Gn1sCOIVAJO4A0YuLQqk-WYOzIyaBCFMOotY/edit

  • one of the initial designs: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1usGFxYUYzQCIYc82MQ5onx4PyndkEykU/view?usp=share_link
  • After many drafts and thoughts, I decided on my design, which is the following: https://drive.google.com/file/d/178SCivbtCeFjSmL0E4Mm5VmKb6ZZIdtn/view?usp=share_link

Prototypes/Progress:

  • laser cutter – rubber setting, 35/100, rester, run it twice 
  • version 1: 
    • lasercut once + hand engraved afterwards
      • left a lot of residue, burn marks, and a lot of ashes
      • line is too thin to show
  • version 2:
    • lasercut once, lines were still too thin to show after adjusting the lines on procreate/illustrator. 
    • Sadly, I lost this lino block and could not get a picture 🙁
  • version 3: 
    • lasercut twice only. 
    • Below is what it looked like on paper:
    • produced 8 copies!

Harships:

  • many many illustrator files/procreate sketches – export + import from different apps make the width of the storkes change. However, the limiation of the laser cutter is that the stroke has to be 1pt for it to engrave. This was difficult to work around and there was a lot of triar and error. 
  • running out of linoleum – multiple Blick runs. Battleship Gray lino are the only lino blocks that can go under the laser cutter. However, this lino type was out of stock in many Blick sights, even when their website stated that it was instock in person.
  • People in my house school also did not like that I was cutting linoleum. Although I had been approved by the Shop manager to cut lino, people were still doubtful and called the shop staff on me a few times to stop me. 
  • It was also hard to perfectly align the two linoliuems onto the paper. I had done a legistration for the paper with rulers and precise measurements, but the two blocks still ended up not perfectly aligned.

Final:

  • I wanted to focus on symmetry because it’s the same person (myself) – it’s like looking at a mirror – a form of self reflection. I am looking at myself while also avoiding myself.
  • It also metphoarically shows one sidedness of my sexual/romantic experiences – shows non verbal ways of communication that i always opted for because I could not say the word “no” in many instances. The gaze away shows different kind of ways to show discomfort that’s not verbal. 
  • I also want to add red strings to finish the project – strings will function to show the tension of this interaction (more explanation below). 

What I liked/How I feel about the project:

  • was happy to combine two things I enjoyed. 
  • Technology and hand sewing – interesting mix 
  • love studio art
  • love physical interation/piece

Future Steps: 

 

Reading Respose

Below are some of the quotations/phrases from the reading that stuck with me and my reflection/thought of them:

  1. “humanize medi-cine” – I associated the term humanization with ‘personification,’ and personification to my knowledge is a literary term people use when an object (or non-human things) are given human traits, such as a giving a rock a name, personality, or even maybe a detailed family history. When I read the phrase “humanize medicine,” I thought of something similar — allowing medicine to have space for ‘traits’, personalities, backgrounds, etc.. Letting there be a story and experience to coexist with modern medicine would be a great progress towards liberating the ridigity of modern medicine.
  2. “Narrative deals with experiences” – experiences over ‘facts.’ why do we attempt to make things ‘factual,’ ‘objective,’ and third person pov? What makes any of these traits more ‘true,’ and why are emotions and subjective experiences seen as something ‘bad’ and ‘wrong’? 
  3. “Storytelling…sinks the thing [being represented] into the life of the storyteller, in order tobring it out of him again. Thus traces of the storyteller cling to the story the waythe handprints of the potter cling to the clay vessel” – i loved this expression, especially the handprint part. My mom used to have a pottery studio, and she would bring me into the studio. My mom and I would make clay pottery together, and I would watch the clay mold in my hands, depending on the pressure, height, shape, and arrangement of my hands. I think this metaphor just shines light into how narrative medicine can do for its readers: we resonate and percieve them, rather than simply ‘understanding’ the informations listed. A narration is being told, rather than being listed as bullet points. I think it’s cherishable and beautiful that narrative medicine builds a bridge between medical literature and its readers. It truly invites the readers to share, percieve and slowly digest every second of the experience being told.

Week 7

“comics … are ideal for exploring taboo or forbidden areas of illness and healthcare” – reminded me of a conversation I had in one of my classes, Critical Experiences, where we talked about how mediums change what is possible to discuss in a project. 

In this discussion, we talked about film v.s. animation. I talked about how in animations (like Rick and Morty), theres a sense of gap between the animation’s world and the ‘real world.’ With this chasm, animations can be more gross visuallyithout the audience feeling too uncomfortable. For exmple, in animation, one may see a person’s head getting chopped off by a saw knife, but as long as it’s in a unrealistic style (or cute), the audience wouldn’t mind it as much as watching a real person’s head getting chopped off in a film. 

Similarly, comics serve as a great tool to discuss a ‘taboo’ subject because there’s a sense of gap between the story and the reader. This is further discussed in chapter 5 of the reading: comics can “control the distance betwenn the author and the reader.” 

Furthermore, I really liked the concept of making the invisible visible in narrative medicine. By creating “their own iconography of illness” and their experiences, their visual stories become so unique because no one experiences something in a same way. 

This was especially true when Dahl’s comics were shown in the readings. The one that I thought was the most powerful was the depiction of a person with herpes. 

Before seeing the images, when thinking of someone with herpes, I focused on the disease itself. I put emphasis on what herpes was — what it looked like, the cause of it, how it can spread, etc.. I also often found myself labeling herpes into a more negative category than it had to be; it felt like a relevation when I read that herpes, at the end, are just another “skin rash.” For some reason, hearing that phrase really changed my view point and snapped me back to see herpes in a different light. 

Then, Dahl’s comics truly enhanced the shifting of my perspective on herpes. They made me realize that with the disease, there is someone who expereinces that illness. 

Dahl’s comics were so powerful in their depiction of what someone with herpes might feel like. It was something I’ve never witnessed before; narrating someone’s perspective with herpes was truly something that was so underlooked and seen as ‘unimportant’ in today’s society. The comics made me self-reflect a lot on my past assumptions and made me realize that narrating experiences are so underrepresented & underappreciated by the society’s emphasis on ‘objectiveness’ and ‘properness’ of an illness. 

Week 5

This project is about my experience with my mother, which occurred on Sunday October 31st, 2021. 

It was a peaceful day. It was my first year in New York City, and I had no plans on Halloween but to go church at 4pm. 

The church that I went to was in Koreatown, and I lived in Brooklyn. The commute would take about 30 minutes, which felt a bit long to me, but I was just thankful that I could use public transportation (because I cannot drive or bike). 

I was wearing my favorite jacket too — a brown suade Veronica Beard Jacket with tassels:

After service, I walked through Koreatown to get to 34 St-Penn Station to ride the 2 train back to Clark st. 

There were a lot of people in Koreatown that day. Especially with a popular show like Squid Game that premiered in the same year, many people were dressed up as Squid Game characters and walking around Koreatown. I looked around, enjoying the scenary as I people watched. I do remember, though, that it smelled so terribled in Koreatown that day. 

I stood in between Broadway and W 32nd St. I was waiting for the pedestrain lights to turn green. ‘Another fun day to remember in New York City,” I thought. 

I came home, I didn’t know what to do. 

I called my mom. That was the only option I had. She would know what to do. She would know what to say. 

“You should’ve been more careful.”

“You were probably wearing revealing clothes.” 

Those were the words I needed to hear.

3 minutes and 18 seconds passed. 

I couldn’t sleep that night.

Week 3

Setting an alarm before bed: 

  1. getting onto bed- I have a higher rise bed, so I need to really use my entire body to get on (more so ‘jump onto’) my bed. I use both my legs and arms to do this part. 
  2. I then lay down on my stomach, which requires my entire body to rotate. I use my arms to assist myself.
  3. I reach for my phone, which is sitting on my bed stand. I do this my using my right arm. 
  4. I grab my phone, which is done by using my right hand and its fingers. 
  5. I bring back the phone closer to my face. I use my arms to do this, and I use my eyes to to look at my phone. 
  6. I tap by phone. I use my right thumb to do this. 
  7. I slide up and press my four digit passcode. I use my right thumb to do this. 
  8. I find my clock app with my eyes and click it using my right thumb. 
  9. I scroll through the list of alarm I have. I use my eyes and right thumb to do this.
  10. I turn on my 7am alarm with my right thumb. 
  11. I turn on sound on my phone with my left hand. 
  12. I lock my phone with my right hand. 
  13. I put the phone down next to my pillow using my right arm. 
  14. I rotate my body so that my back is on my bed. I use my entire body, especially the torso, for this movement. 
  15. I put my head back onto my pillow. I use my neck to do this.
  16. I close my eyes. I use my eyelids for this.

Week 1

Content Warning!: Blood

 

This was a visual reflection of this week’s reading. To be honest, the readings were a lot to take in, and I did not find myself articulating and pin pointing specific thoughts and comments. Therefore, I thought a visual reflection of how I felt was the most accompanying method I could use. This illustration attempts to show the idea of an ’embodied story.’ It shows identities within their bodies getting erased in lots of medical narratatives; who’s story does it become once an individual’s identities are stripped away? 

It also shows the incompleteness one may feel after going through what ‘modern’ medicine offers. The figure in the illustration is, quite literally, in complete. Her insides are exposed, and she leaks blood. There are footsteps all over her body. All of these elements unify to show the puzzled feeling one may feel after being utilized as a body of a patient. There is a sense of nothingness left with her. She keeps questioniong, who am I? What am I?