Mary Valle: Wow! Rachel Donadio reports in the New York Times that Pope Benedict has proclaimed that “sins inside the church” are the greatest problem in his organization; and that “forgiveness does not substitute justice.” These are Benedict’s strongest words on Pontifigate: encouraging! However, he was somewhat vague on the cleanup (which is a sort of human oil spill: ongoing, resisting easy solutions, far, far worse than you expected) offering that the church has “to relearn ‘conversion, prayer, penance.'” One wonders if they’ll take Vatican exorcist Fr. Gabriele Amorth up on his offer to exterminate the devil in St. Peter’s. It couldn’t possibly hurt at this point: why not give a Vatican exorcism a try? It would surely make for spectacular television, and may attract some new followers who like the Satanic magic only Catholicism offers. Perhaps it might even bring the Catholic horror movie back in vogue! Lemonade, Rome. Lemonade.

The Pope’s musings then took a turn towards the apparition of Mary at Fátima in 1917, and the third Secret of Fátima which the Vatican revealed in the year 2000. (The first two covered hell and Russia.) The prophecy describes a “‘bishop clothed in white,’ the pope, who makes his way through a field of martyrs.” This was believed to be a reference to the assassination attempt on John Paul II, but Benedict now adds that “the message of the Madonna of Fátima could be extended not only to the ‘suffering’ of John Paul, and therefore of popes, but also of the suffering of the entire Catholic Church.” It seems really obvious to me: the “field of martyrs” is comprised of priestly abuse victims, looking to the Pope for justice! Will they ever receive *their* plural sainthood like the Holy Innocents or Martyrs of China? Think about it: decades from now, some kid could attend Pontifigate Martyrs (just like today they might attend American Martyrs or Fourteen Holy Helpers.) Lemonade, Rome! Lemonade!