After-school Restraint Collapse

By: Vee Pastore, MPH, MST

Consider what you might actually be seeing—a child who has spent the day navigating countless expectations, masking their feelings, and finally releasing the tension in a safe space at home.

Introduction

Have you ever sat in a parent-teacher conference feeling like the teachers and the families are describing two very different children? In school, the teacher sees an easy-going student who transitions from one task to another smoothly, and follows along with the class without redirection. At home, parents report a child who storms off the bus each day—sometimes exploding, other times shutting down completely. If that sounds familiar, the child in question may be experiencing after-school restraint collapse (ASRC).

What is ASRC?

After-school restraint collapse (ASRC) refers to when a child seems to cope well throughout the school day but then experiences a significant emotional release—or “collapse”—once they return to a safe space, like home. ASRC can look like an unexpected tantrum, an intense surge of emotion, or difficulty accessing usual coping strategies. Parent and therapist Andrea Brambila explains, “Long days away from your favorite people are hard for little brains. Combine that with underdeveloped emotional regulation, and it’s no wonder there are more meltdowns” (@brambila_bits, 2025).

Although academic research on ASRC is limited, much of what we know comes from parent accounts and clinical observations. The phenomenon is widely recognized: after-school restraint collapse is a very real response to the effort of “holding it together” all day. So when a parent describes their “screaming monster,” consider what you might actually be seeing—a child who has spent the day navigating countless expectations, masking their feelings, and finally releasing the tension in a safe space at home.

Why is this happening?

In a dynamic environment like school, students must navigate shifting social rules, changing expectations from adults, constant cognitive demands, overwhelming sensory input, and often insufficient accommodations. For neurodivergent children, who may process these experiences differently than their peers, the school day can feel especially taxing.

When students have spent hours bottling up feelings and suppressing their needs, they often release their “true emotions” once they reach a safe space. Andrea Loewen Nair, the counsellor and parenting educator who coined the term after-school restraint collapse (ASRC), emphasizes that every child experiences this release differently. Some may become tearful and withdrawn, while others erupt in yelling, throwing objects, or lashing out verbally. These behaviors are not signs of a “bad kid” or poor parenting, but indicators that the child has reached their limit and needs support.

Although much of the conversation around ASRC focuses on elementary-aged children, teenagers and adults can experience it as well—highlighting that this is a universal response to prolonged stress and emotional suppression.

The Dangers of Masking

On any given school day, children may suppress difficult emotions, mask sensory discomfort, keep struggles to themselves, and say “yes” when they really mean “no.” For autistic students, this often takes the form of masking—suppressing aspects of themselves to appear more neurotypical in environments not designed with their needs in mind. While masking can function as a survival strategy, it often takes a serious toll on mental health, causing exhaustion, burnout, anxiety, depression and loss of identity (Simply Psychology, 2025).

Whether the challenges children perceive during the school day are major or minor, the body’s “alarm system” responds the same by releasing stress hormones and activating the fight-or-flight response. When students don’t feel safe enough to be their authentic selves, they may begin to mask their neurodivergent traits—a common experience autistic people describe in navigating a non-autistic world, often starting as early as elementary school.

Managing stressors and reducing the need for masking is crucial for the well-being of neurodivergent children. And, it’s up to the adults in their lives—educators, caregivers, and parents—to recognize triggers, create safe spaces, and provide the support that helps students move through a demanding school day without carrying the hidden burden of pretending to be “okay” all day.

5 Tips to Support ASRC

Kids don’t need adults to “fix” their moods—they need us to ride out big feelings alongside them and help them manage their energy until they’re ready to do it on their own. Beyond building predictable routines, teachers and caregivers can adjust expectations and be prepared to co-regulate with students when needed.

Here are five neurodivergent-affirming practices trusted adults can use to support children experiencing after-school restraint collapse:

Give Space/Time

At school, students who are prone to ASRC would benefit from consistent access to a break area so that they can unmask and regulate their overactive nervous systems. Providing this option proactively—rather than only after a meltdown—helps students feel safer and more in control.
At home, children who arrive on the verge of exploding or imploding often need immediate time to decompress in their “safe space.” Before expecting them to talk, engage, or transition into family routines, give them quiet. A sensory-friendly area equipped with calming tools—such as soft lighting, weighted blankets, or fidgets—can help ground them until they’re ready to reconnect.

Connect & Co-regulate

At school, while teachers may not be able to provide the same physical comfort as a caregiver, they can attune to students’ arousal states and offer co-regulation throughout the day. This might look like using a calm tone, modeling steady breathing, or simply sitting nearby to signal safety and presence.
At home, children benefit from knowing their big feelings are seen and accepted. Validating their emotions and offering comfort—even if a hug or cuddle is declined—shows them you recognize how hard the transition home can be. Some kids may want a parent to read aloud, sit close, or provide hands-on calming support, while others may need time to settle before they can accept this connection.

Refuel

At school, hunger and dehydration make it much harder for students to focus and participate. Teachers can support regulation by ensuring students eat their lunch, building consistent snack times, and providing regular access to water and bathrooms throughout the day.
At home, caregivers can help by offering water and nutrient-rich snacks right after school. Meeting these basic physical needs first can prevent further dysregulation and give children the energy they need to settle, reconnect, and recover from the day.

Limit Demands

At school, teachers and practitioners can learn to recognize students’ triggers and reduce unnecessary demands before stress escalates. Prioritizing regulation over compliance helps prevent meltdowns and creates space for students to recover their energy.
At home, regulation should come before responsibilities. Homework, chores, and even enjoyable activities can wait until a child is calmer and more settled. If after-school commitments like sports or lessons are part of the routine, consider scheduling them later in the day to allow time for decompression first.

Movement

At school, scheduling regular movement breaks gives all students a chance to reset, release energy, and “get back into their bodies.” This can look like stretching, dancing, or other brief physical activities built naturally into the day.
At home, families can encourage play, outdoor time, or simple physical activity to help children discharge stress. Movement lowers cortisol, supports regulation, and makes it easier for kids to transition into calmer states after a demanding day.

These neurodivergent-affirming practices honor children’s experiences, reduce the hidden burdens of masking, and help them navigate a challenging day with greater resilience, understanding, and care. The next time you notice a student quietly complying in class—or see your own child run off the bus in tears—remember: they’ve been working incredibly hard all day. In those moments, what they need isn’t correction or instruction, but patience, understanding, and support to help them regulate, recover, and feel safe.

5 Practical Steps to increase Family Involvement in Inclusive Classrooms

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By: Heather Clarke MSPED, MS., Ma(Econ.)

As teachers and school staff we want to interact with parents and guardians with sensitivity and caring and actively work to include parents and caregivers of students of disabilities to increase their presence and involvement in our classrooms and the schools.

Children sitting on chairs at art table with art materials

As both a mother and a teacher I know how important it is to be involved in my children’s school. I also know it’s not easy to juggle work, my children’s activities, and everyone’s demanding schedules. Family involvement becomes even more challenging when considering the additional concerns, demands, and needs that families of students with disabilities may have.

Yet, research shows that positive family involvement is one of the keys to a student’s academic success. As educators we want to make sure that we not only create an inclusive environment for our students but also create an inclusive environment for our students’ parents, guardians and the grown-ups that take care of them. This is especially important for the families of disabled students, because this not only results in better academic outcomes for students with disabilities, but also in a stronger sense of belonging, and is mandated under federal law. When students’ families feel valued, it typically means their kids feel valued too.

As educators we should work to cultivate partnerships with families with sensitivity and care. Educators should actively work to include the families of disabled students into their classrooms.

Below is a list of five practical steps that teachers can use to collaborate with parents and guardians of students with disabilities to promote their inclusion in the classroom and school community.

1. Establish a communication system: Set up a meaningful and easy way to communicate that works for all parties. Decide whether you will use a communication notebook, Class Dojo, Or Zoom Meetings and emails or some combination and what frequency regular communication will occur. Make sure that your communication is clear, accessible, and at a time that works for all parties since parents and guardians may have non-traditional work schedules. In your communication, always highlight what your students are doing well. Positive Feedback builds bridges and maintains collaborative relationships.

2. Conduct an informal Family Interview: Send home an informal family interview to get to know your students and their family. Consider including questions about; special interests, what they like to do for fun, family holidays, cultural celebrations, likes and dislikes? Make sure you translate the interview into their home language.By inviting families to share about their student, you both learn valuable information for your classroom and build connection with the family. As a bonus, consider making a special bulletin board to share these interviews.

3. Include images and items from home in your classroom: Create a special bulletin board or area in the classroom that has images of your students’ homes, loved ones, and cultures. Encourage your students to bring in photos from home, bring in flags that represent their culture, or draw special pictures that remind them of home. A dedicated space in the classroom acts as a touchstone that lets them know that their homelife and home culture matters and is not separate from their school life. Additionally, encourage students to bring in a special item from home that they can use for grounding in moments of distress or dysregulation. This item can be something as simple as a favorite stuffed animal that they keep in their locker or cubby or a special photo of their family that they can use as needed.

4. Invite families to be the teachers: Invite the parent/ guardian or family member to teach or share something with the class.For example,they could share a song, rhyme, handclapping routine, art making, story telling, or anything meaningful to the child and the family. It can be especially powerful if presented in their home language. Consider virtual opportunities as well since in-person may not be feasible. These opportunities are engaging and memorable for the entire class and make families feel included.

5. Have a Neurodiversity and Disability Celebration Day – Invite the entire class community to come in and celebrate disability. Representation Matters. Incorporate posters and books of famous people with disabilities and neurodiversity in your classroom book collections and highlight the accomplishments and contributions of these individuals. In preparation for the day students can read biographies about disabled and neurodivergent scientists, athletes, artists and more and make posters or presentations about these individuals to share at your celebration. Highlight Simone Biles, a record-breaking gymnast with ADHD, as well as Oscar-winning musician Quest Love and Grammy-winning singer-songwriter Muni Long, both of whom are Autistic. An event like this is an opportunity to invite families of disabled students in and celebrate them and individuals like them- showing how disabled people are valued members of society that make meaningful impact everyday and whose neurodivergence and disability is a positive part of who they are.

As teachers and school staff we are pulled in so many directions, and we have so many demands on our day but building a good relationship with our students’ families is one of the best ways we can set up our students for success. Getting to know the families, especially of students with disabilities demonstrates that we care and encourages them to engage because they feel welcome in the classroom and school community.

Letter from the Editor – Fall 2025

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Dear Readers,

Last Fall we launched our digital magazine, The Nest Egg, because we wanted to expand how we share evidence-based inclusive practices from the NYU Nest Support Project to a wider audience. It has been my pleasure and honor to not only write some of the articles but to also be the Editor-in-Chief of this digital platform. Our writers offer a wide range of expertise, they are educators, speech language pathologists, and administrators with years of experience in elementary, middle, and high schools. Our writers come from diverse backgrounds, drawing on their personal and professional experience in their pieces. This past year The Nest Egg included articles on a range of topics, from creating sensory sensitive classroom environments for all students, to respecting students’ cultures in the classroom, reimagining self-advocacy, and multimodal communication, which you can access via the side panel and click on “2024-2025”.

As we start this school year, we are excited to share more evidence-based and best inclusive practices with our readers. Our first quarterly digital publication will start with articles on After School Restraint Collapse (ASRC) and increasing family involvement in inclusive classrooms, with articles to come in future editions on the importance of self-regulation and co-regulation for students, and so much more.

We are excited to have these best practices out in the world. Thank you for joining us in making our educational spaces more accessible and inclusive.

Best,

Heather

Looking Back to Go Forward: The Benefits of Reflecting at the End of the Year

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By: Vee Pastore, MPH, MST

In this image, there are elementary-aged students looking out at the New York City skyline with a large, oval reflective mirror behind them. (Source: AI generated via Adobe Express)

Did you know that 50-70% of our autistic students also present with co-occurring Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, or ADHD (NIH, 2022)? This statistic highlights the crucial role that executive function plays in how our autistic students learn in the classroom. For neurodivergent students, these skills are often a particular area of struggle—and reflecting on their progress can reveal valuable insights for future growth.

Rewind to Reflect

The end of the school year is often a flurry of final projects, celebrations, and goodbyes. As testing winds down, it’s tempting for us teachers to shift our focus to planning summer activities, getting a jump on next year’s preparations, or simply savoring a well-earned break. But before packing up your classroom and powering down the Smartboard, there’s real value in pausing and reflecting on students’ executive functioning (EF) skills.

Executive functioning skills, like planning, organization, and time management, are “a set of neurocognitive skills required for the “conscious, goal-directed control of thought, action, and emotion.” (Zelazo, 2022). EF skills help our students stay organized, meet deadlines, and navigate problem-solving with focus and flexibility. This set of cognitive skills develops slowly over time with modeling, hands-on experience, and developmental maturity, but they won’t fully form until metacognition — the ability to “think about one’s thinking” — is fully developed sometime in our mid-20s. (You can learn more about EF by checking out this resource). By pausing to reflect, we can help our students identify areas of growth, celebrate achievements, and set the stage for even greater success next school year!

The Benefits of Executive Functioning Skills

Reflection on EF skills promotes self-confidence, improves academic readiness, and builds a framework for students to reflect on their learning for years after they leave your classroom.

Promotes Self-confidence: Celebrating progress in executive function skills is crucial for promoting self-awareness and building confidence in students. Acknowledging gains in EF not only validates effort but it reinforces students’ resilience and motivates them to adapt to overcome setbacks when trying hard things. Over time, our students will feel empowered to take on increasingly difficult challenges.
Improves Academic Readiness: Identifying effective strategies for EF skills such as time management, emotional regulation, and organization can help your students become proactive and efficient over time. With EF reflection comes self-awareness about how best to plan, organize, and tackle studying and completing tasks in general. With your ongoing support your students can take ownership of their learning process and advocate for what they need to succeed in the classroom. Not only does this improve academic readiness; but it also provides you with valuable insights to fine-tune your teaching, ensuring you offer targeted support that will help students strengthen EF skills over time.
Establishes a roadmap for future success: When students begin to understand how to best approach their work – staying focused, managing their time, and adapting to shifting expectations – they learn to set more realistic and actionable goals, a necessary skill for strategic problem-solving and future academic success.

When taking a moment to assess their strengths and challenges, students are more likely to internalize what works for them and what doesn’t. Encouraging neurodivergent students to reflect on their EF development empowers them with tools for lifelong success, and benefits both students and teachers.

EF Reflection Activities

Facilitating reflection doesn’t have to be time-consuming because students have already done the hard work— it’s simply about guiding them to recognize their unique strengths and challenges. Here are some tried and true activities that teachers can use to support students’ reflection via one-on-one conversations, in small structured groups, as a whole class, or independently at any point in the school year:

Portfolio Reviews:

In a portfolio review, students evaluate a collection of their work that showcases growth over time. Students can reflect on their writing pieces, projects, and/or assessments to notice patterns and gauge their growth. Especially when time is limited like it is at the end of the school year, portfolio reviews are a great way for students to get tailored feedback about what they’ve been doing well, and what they can improve on.

Guided Journaling:

Guided journaling is a structured approach that encourages students to respond to targeted prompts that encourage self-awareness, track progress, and develop effective strategies. Guided journaling can help students organize their thoughts, analyze their behaviors and feelings, and build strategies for improvement. Here are just a few prompts you can use to get students to reflect on problem-solving, emotional regulation, and planning, among other EF skills:

What was the most/least challenging task or project you worked on this year? Why do you think it was hard/easy for you?

How did you know it was hard/easy for you? (Also, what feelings did you notice?)

How did you overcome these obstacles/feelings and complete the task? Which approach or strategy did you use?

If you were to do a similar task or project in the future, what would you do differently (if anything)?

EF Self-Assessment Checklist:

An executive function self-assessment checklist is a tool that helps students understand their strengths and challenges across EF skills and usually includes a simple rating system for self-reflection. Checklists can be great conversation starters; and, support students to set and prioritize goals. There are plenty of free EF self-assessments online but here is one to get you started: Executive Skills Questionnaire (Dawson & Guare, 2025)³. Once you’re familiar with the EF content, feel free to make your own!

Whether used individually or in combination, incorporating EF reflection activities into your classroom routine can help students develop a deeper understanding of how they learn best.

Special Considerations

It’s important to note that reflection is challenging for many students – especially our neurodivergent students – so you’ll likely need to provide them with both academic and emotional support to do this successfully. To make reflection accessible and meaningful for our neurodivergent students, it’s always a great idea to lean on those teaching best practices! Breaking the reflection process down into smaller parts can help students feel like the task is more manageable, while using visual aids and sentence starters might reduce the cognitive load of this hard work. Some students may need a break during this process – encourage this; it shows they already have a bit of self-awareness and know this support is necessary for them to be successful when things get tough. Highlighting this as a teacher will boost students’ confidence, and build their understanding of how self-reflection can help them succeed in life.

While the end of the year is a natural time for reflection, the real impact comes from making it a regular practice. By building in moments of self-assessment at the end of a learning unit or at the end of the marking period, we help our students to develop the habit of looking inward to recognize their own growth. With thoughtful guidance in EF reflection, we can support students in figuring out which strategies work best for them and how to adapt or modify their approaches when they face a similar challenge in the future. When reflection becomes a regular part of the learning process, we empower students to take ownership of their progress and build resilience.

Be Kind. Please Rewind.

By helping students look backward, teachers can also help them to look forward — with purpose, intention, and confidence. Teaching our students to pause and reflect is an act of kindness. Acknowledging growth reminds us of a powerful message that’s easy to forget: mistakes and missteps are part of the journey, and growth (no matter how great or small) is always possible. It’s important to remind kids and ourselves that learning isn’t linear, and the last day of school does not mark an end but rather a beginning. By fostering reflection on EF skills, educators and parents can give neurodivergent students a powerful gift: the ability to better understand themselves, acknowledge their growth, and approach the future with a little more self-confidence. A thoughtful pause might be the most impactful lesson of all.

Helping students take a closer look at these critical skills now can set them up for growth over the summer and a stronger start in the fall. So as the year wraps up, I hope you take a few moments with students to reflect on executive functioning skills – to celebrate their progress, and set the stage for further introspection. After all, the end of the year isn’t just about finishing strong — it’s about preparing for what’s next.

Hiring: An Imperfect Art

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By: Dolores Troy-Quinn, MPA, MS, Specialist Diploma-Administration and Supervision, School Building Leader (SBL), School District Leader (SDL)

Hiring: An Imperfect Art

“Great vision without great people is irrelevant,” says author, researcher and leadership guru Jim Collins. These words have always stayed with me as I attempted to find just the right person to fill each vacancy in my school. As principal of a school whose foundational belief was one of inclusion and collaboration, it was often daunting to tease out just the right candidate who would embrace our school’s educational philosophy.Having inherited a school community that was suspicious of others who were different and insulated in their thinking, I knew I would have to find the courage of my convictions to begin a new direction at my school. This change began with hiring the right staff. Everyone says they are collaborative and love children, but not everyone embodies these beliefs. Jim Collins’ words always resonated with me because hiring the right people is one of, if not the, most important role of an administrator.

Over the twelve years I was principal at a public elementary school in New York City, I hired a tremendous number of staff as our classrooms became more and more inclusive and neurodiverse spaces. Here are some of the traits I found to be the most effective in hiring staff, especially special education teachers. Hiring special education teachers has become increasingly important since 15 percent of all public school students between the ages of 3-21 receive special education services.

Empathy & Compassion
Creativity
Collaborative Spirit
Tenacity/Resilience
Good Communicator

Empathy & Compassion

So often students come to us with such a variety of learning styles, family situations and past learning experiences. All too often I have seen caring educators turn hostile when they become frustrated with a student. This frustration may lead the teacher to blame the student for his/her disability. Therefore, how do we find an educator who has deep empathy and compassion for the disparate learners in his/her classroom?

Here are some questions to ask candidates during the hiring process:

How do you create a classroom environment where students feel comfortable expressing their feelings?

What strategies do you use to actively listen to your students’ perspectives?

Creativity

I’m sure we can all remember a teacher who made learning fun. Creative teachers draw from a wide range of experiences and are not afraid to ask others for help. Other traits of creative classroom teachers include being open to new ideas, being able to question and critique themselves and others. Creative educators engage in reflection. They are not afraid of taking risks.

Possible Interview Questions:

Describe a time when you had to use out-of-the-box thinking? What was the result?

You have tried several methods of instruction to help a student understand a difficult concept yet she still doesn’t grasp it. What do you do next?

Collaborative Spirit

When interviewing a candidate, there was always a question regarding collaboration. I would always be looking out for someone who swore they were collaborative, yet all their responses started with “I”. Collaborative educators are open-minded and respectful. They exude a positive attitude and demonstrate mutual respect for their colleagues and others.

Possible Interview Questions:

What strategies do you use to build positive relationships with colleagues to foster effective collaboration?

Can you tell us of a time where you disagreed with a colleague on an educational approach? How did you resolve this issue? What did you learn from the experience?

Tenacity/Resilience

Good educators are resilient and relentless in their pursuit of assisting their students learn and grow. These teachers are problem solvers and have great emotional regulation. They can manage their emotions and don’t fall apart in difficult situations. They are adaptable and are able to “bounce back” from adversity.

Possible Interview Questions:

Describe a time when you faced a setback in your classroom or therapy space. How did you learn and grow from the experience?

Think of that student/person who knew just how to push your buttons and make you lose your temper. What coping methods do you employ to manage your emotions?

Good Communication Skills

As a principal, I often needed to defuse tense situations with colleagues, parents and students. Most often, there was a lack of communication that fostered this animosity. Strong educators have excellent communication skills. These skills will need to be employed in the classroom, with colleagues, and with families.

Possible Interview Questions:

Families:

How would you regularly communicate with families about their child’s progress?

How can you build positive relationships with families?

Students:
How do you explain challenging concepts to students who have different learning styles?

What strategies do you use to build rapport and trust with your students?

Colleagues:

How do you collaborate with other teachers to support student learning goals?

How do you provide feedback to peers in a constructive way?

I know that many people have tried to figure out a foolproof way for hiring the right people. I have interviewed many people over the course of my career and feel that the traits listed above are the necessary ingredients in hiring a person who embodies a collaborative and inclusive mindset. Another thing I’ve learned is that hiring is not a science. Rather, it is a highly imperfect art.