Words Hurt
I lack the power to go back in time
To tell you everything will be fine.
How I wish I could visit the moment your smile lost its shine
Take your hand in mine
So I can savor the feeling of your delicate lines.
I can not cradle your head
Nor sing a song of hope to bring you comfort in bed.
Instead I dream of your lovely voice that once led
A lost congregation in need of healing and a friend
Before ugly words killed your melodies and birthed feelings of dread.
I wish I could say I am alright
That I am over the way others were taught to fight
Using words as spears to pierce my chest with might!
Hang on a little longer.
“She’s too loud.”
“She’s too big.”
“Wait, now it is weird she is no longer making a sound.”
“Did you see her talking to herself in the corner?”
“She’s weird, crazy, too much, not enough, a loner.”
Just hang on a little longer.
I know you want the end to come soon
That you believe the world does not need your hue.
The words of those around you confirm this lie
And although I can not be by your side
I know for a fact you will learn to enjoy your life.
You will find special ones
Lights in your life that you will try to outrun
But they will hold you tight and remind you that your journey is not done
Free to be the individual that was once shunned.
The girl who could not stop singing the chorus of her favorite songs
Who rocked and swayed to soothe herself when spaces felt wrong
The girl who wanted to prove she was strong
Who wanted so desperately to belong
Hang on a little longer.
My words can not reach you and that is okay
Now that I know that my roots are here to stay
I will live for you from my prime till I decay
This promise I make in the body you thought would never see the day
Hang on a little longer.