The Inside Voice
We have been together for two years,
I knew I loved him. But why?
Why was that voice in my head telling me that it was all a lie?
Kind words, delicate touches now felt like from a stranger.
Was it just smoke and mirrors?
“Kill him, kill him,” I heard a voice whispering in my ear.
I could not concentrate.
Do I remember when this voice appeared? No,
But he changed, and the doubts came.
Was it someone else? The temptation to ask was suffocating me
Two months with the same voice,
I couldn’t handle it anymore.
If I kill him, would the voice stop?
If I kill him, would I feel better?
Two voices now, telling me what was right, what was wrong.
Which one should I follow?
A last good night kiss, a last hug.
I know what I need to do to make the voice shut.
I killed him. The insistent voice was gone. Blood on my hands, gun on the desk.
I thought it was over.
Why? Why did you do it? I repeat to myself
It was the voice
It was not me; I was not myself.
Loneliness and regret are all I have left.