The Not-So-Crazy Cat Lady
Spinster spin·ster /ˈspinstər/ noun
- an unmarried woman, typically an older woman beyond the usual age for marriage.
Cat Lady cat la·dy/noun
- an older woman who lives alone with a large number of cats, to which she is thought to be obsessively devoted.
Most individuals are accustomed to these colloquial, degrading phrases used to describe single women: spinster and cat lady. These are just some of the derogatory labels constructed to objectify single women. Intriguingly, there is no problem, let alone a negative phrase, for a single man. The media further exacerbates this issue by codifying a disparaging image of a single woman. Rather than viewing an unaccompanied woman sitting in a cafe as one who is independent and desires her solitude, she is instead depicted as lonely and depressed. Not only are these phrases, images, and concepts outdated, but they also reinforce the heteronormative idea to young girls that they need a man to be content.
Nowhere is the depiction of single women more fundamental than in the portrayal of religion. Generally, women are required to obtain the companionship of a man to avoid disgrace. However, in religious standpoints, there is an exception. Women are also socially accepted if they choose the companionship of God. Author Kimberly Volmer surfaces the seventeenth century idea that a respected woman of society is one that devotes herself to either a man, or God (surely another male figure). Essentially, if a woman has not found herself a male partner, she is assuredly saving herself for God (Volmer, 1-2). This normalized ideology provides no consideration for the desires of women, and completely eschews a woman’s autonomy in her own sexual impulses. When a woman can utilize her autonomy and may choose to be alone, she is instantly seen as a failure, “incapable of attracting and keeping a man” (Volmer, 3). This idea is fortified in one of society’s oldest foundations, the Bible. While there are many books in the Bible that dictate how women should act, the Corthinians, specifically, dives into the single women stigma more transparently. Similar to Volmer’s claim, Corinthians states:
An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world–how she can please her husband (1 Corinthians 7:34)
Here, the Bible proclaims that one must either fully devote herself to God or, her only other option, to devote herself to her husband. Especially fascinating in the language is the word “please.” Essentially, not only does the Bible dictate that a woman must be with a man, but notes she has to spend her life “pleasing” him as if that is her sole duty. The Bible, which is one of the most read and highly-regarded texts, provides no alternative, esteemed lifestyle for the single woman, no dictation of what a woman who chooses to be single should do, as if she simply does not exist.