My first sonic memory was when I was six years old, probably where I’m different from most people. I was born in Spain, and the first thing I was exposed to was Spanish culture. My mother thought we had to learn Chinese because we were Chinese until my sister was in primary school in Spain. She chose me over my sister and decided to send me back to Study Chinese. Since I was young, I thought flying would take me out to play and happily prepare their things to take. When I arrived in China, it was grandma who picked me up. My mom was there translating for me because I couldn’t understand what grandma was saying.
A few days later, I woke up to find my mother gone. After that day, I couldn’t sleep at night. All I could think about was my mom reading me a bedtime story. Every day is different, and I need to rely on it to help me sleep. But I sobbed in the middle of the night, so my grandmother wouldn’t worry about me. At school, I would always run behind my neighbors because I couldn’t speak Mandarin. I go wherever she goes as a sense of security. Not only do I know school every day, but also the teacher has been asked to tutor me at home. When the doorbell rings, IT is also my most fearful time. I become timid and dare not speak.
I always thought my mom abandoned me for four years when I was a kid, from kindergarten to elementary school. I’ve only seen my mother three times, and I think she’s slowly becoming a stranger to me. But when I look back on it now, I am full of thanks to her. If she hadn’t made that decision, I wouldn’t have become so independent. I wouldn’t know how brave I was if she hadn’t made that decision. If it hadn’t been for her decision, I wouldn’t be proud of being Chinese.
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