by Skyler Sugar
Osaka City
In a building in Osaka City
a car highway drives through the floor
highway from floor five to seven
nine a.m. to eight p.m.
every hour of every day
that I work on floor eight filing
papers for the boss’s daughter
VP Alix B. of Total Roadway Servicing
now six years past her decision to create
a freeway through our place of work
servicing nearly half a billion businessmen
each day beneath my feet
and since that day has issued me
face to face, a daily decree
with each coffee break
increasing the chances that one day
an earthquake will take my place
Crab Cake
I was born a pest
and I will die a pest
prepared by drooling chefs, kitchen cowards,
that spend their days handling crab-cakes.
Bare hands, scratched by shells,
using blood to mold shreds of fatty muscle
from my waist, mashed together
like a mealy apple beneath purple feet.
And serve me!
To my future wife, timed perfectly
to choke me down like a gull
that will surely get the attention of the whole
restaurant.
Root
Well look at that root
of the corn in my foot.
No wonder it pains me so much.
I pull and pull and by god
it keeps growing up to my chest.
But don’t cut it,
you’ll bleed to death,
the doctor assures me.
Sprinkle it with salt water and administer substantial heat.
You might need to wait until it sprouts a seed.
And so I wait for what is now a hardy stalk to bloom and
soon enough, I’m tasting beefsteak tomatoes shaped like moons.
And I twist two off from the stem and toss them into a stew.
When I wake up, they appear anew, between my breasts.
My friends, I assume, will love my new growth.
They might even enjoy one of my tomatoes.
Maybe for a Greek salad or a Caprese sandwich, or both.
Skyler Sugar, decadent reader-consumer and misanthropic drop-out, has remained for the past two decades, locked away in a very tall tower where he has developed a fetishistic relationship with his book and artworks. He has also developed a great, big tumor that grows out the side of his left hip that fills up with froth and tells him what to write. Unfortunately, they get into frequent arguments about whether or not they should send for help. Tumor is ashamed to admit how scared he might be of life outside the tower. Skyler hopes that one day, they might come to an agreement.