Intuition Blues | Ashley Jacques

The Bad Ones

by Catherine Gould

A Play in One Act

Characters:

AVA, 20s, is an intelligent, witty but insecure college junior with heightened emotions. She struggles to control her feelings when facing decisions about food, relationships, and anything which merits value.

LARISSA, 20s, AVA’s roommate, slides by the seat of her pants most days. Whenever she completes a small task she rewards herself with a break. Occasionally friendly but often minds her own business.

JAMES, 20s, AVA’s classmate, is kind and a little flirtatious. He is not the brightest but his warm personality and good looks attract others.

TEMPTATION, is constantly trying to entice AVA, whether it be by food, moral dilemmas, or physical attraction to another person.

VANITY, is at war with TEMPTATION, specifically in relation to food, and encourages AVA to make decisions which foster her physical appearance and promote popularity.

LOATHING surfaces in AVA in times of great conflict and exhaustion and highlights the bad in everything.

(TEMPTATION, VANITY, and LOATHING are dressed in all black with name tags signifying their respective emotions.)

Lights up on a small college dorm room. The living area is tightly packed with a tiny table and four chairs, a mini fridge with a microwave atop, and a standing lamp which provides a warmer contrast to the dorm’s intense fluorescent lights. To enter into the living area is a small hall with a built-in coat closet. AVA is carrying a Kit Kat king-size chocolate bar and talking to herself, reading the back of the bar.

AVA One-hundred-and-eighty-five calories. Okay. That means if I have a juice instead of a smoothie, skip dinner, and put no milk in my afternoon coffee… (calculating in her head) then I can have a third of this bar. Cool.

TEMPTATION and VANITY, opposing each other, try to entice AVA with their convincing speech and alluring conduct.

TEMPTATION Oh, come on… the whole thing! Just have the whole thing.

VANITY (sardonically) Yeah, if you want even larger hips, have the whole thing.

TEMPTATION You haven’t had chocolate in a week!

VANITY That’s a lie. You had some last night.

TEMPTATION But it was small, and dark! And dark chocolate is good for you.

VANITY No, it’s not. Do you want to be fat?

TEMPTATION Women. Empowerment. Love your body for what it is… eat the chocolate!

AVA (finally acknowledging them) Okay, enough! I will do what I want to do.

TEMPTATION Yes, but you have to consider us. We are a part of you, too. The less attractive parts, at least.

VANITY Speak for yourself, ugly.

TEMPTATION That’s not my name.

AVA You two are only a small part of me, though. I am me… And I’m pretty sure you’re just a part of my imagination.

VANITY Oh no, bitch. We’re real.

AVA makes eye contact with VANITY and takes a bite of the chocolate bar, in spite, and sits down at the table. LARISSA enters, backpack on, exhausted. VANITY and TEMPTATION, jump behind the couch, hiding.

VANITY (to TEMPTATION) Wait, why are we hiding?

TEMPTATION I’m just following you. She can’t see us, right?

VANITY (shouts at LARISSA) Hey, imbecile! (No reaction) Yeah, I think we’re good.

VANITY and TEMPTATION proceed to take a seat at the table. VANITY, concerned with her own looks, takes a compact mirror from her purse and primps herself. Meanwhile, TEMPTATION takes Hershey’s Kisses from her pockets and places them in front of AVA, one by one. This slowly builds into a mountain of chocolate.

AVA Larissa, hey, how was your midterm?

LARISSA (dropping her backpack dramatically on the floor) Fine. I took my test. It’s finished. Thank God. I’m done (She pulls out a bag of pretzels).

AVA Congrats. So now, you just have stats to study for?

LARISSA Yes, but not now. First, I will reward myself. I’m going to just chill and watch my show. (She sets up a laptop on the table where Ava is now studying, puts earphones in, opens the pretzel bag, and begins chomping down.)

AVA (looks at LARISSA and smiles, hesitantly) Yay.

LOATHING (popping out from behind the couch, annoyed by the loud eating) Ohhhh, God, NOOOOOOOOO!

AVA (turns to LOATHING) Okay listen, take it easy.

LOATHING Absolutely not.

LARISSA munches on some more pretzels and then laughs loudly at the show she is watching.

AVA Oh God.

LOATHING Freaking chomp monster is going at it again!

AVA Calm down.

LOATHING You are trying to study. Doesn’t she know this?

AVA Maybe it’ll just be like half an hour. I can handle that long, can’t I?

LOATHING (looking over the shoulder of LARISSA) It’s on “marathon mode”!

AVA Okay. Okay. Chill. We can do this.

LOATHING Who are you trying to convince?

AVA You!

LOATHING Looks like you’re the one in need of some convincing. I’m gonna hate her no matter what.

AVA (thinks a moment, then, getting an idea) Oh, okay! (gathers herself, then calls out) Patience! Patience, come out!

LOATHING Um, what are you doing?

AVA Calling out to the better parts of myself.

LOATHING That’s not how it works. You couldn’t muster enough strength to call that one anyway.

AVA Why not?

LOATHING I’ve gotten a lot better at my job this year, with this whole roommate situation… which has made my rivals, Patience, Kindness, and Self- Control, much worse at their job. Therefore, harder for them to ever be summoned.

AVA Okay, you’re officially annoying me very much.

LOATHING Annoyance leans toward the hatred category. Therefore, my territory. Meaning you have feelings towards me, which I am controlling.

AVA shouts in frustration.

TEMPTATION Perhaps more chocolate could help with that…

LARISSA (to AVA, taking an ear bud out) You seem stressed. I’m gonna watch in my room.

LARISSA takes her things, laptop, pretzels and all, and exits.

LOATHING Thank God. (to the others) She’s the worst, am I right?

AVA is about to lose it when JAMES knocks at the door.

AVA It’s unlocked!

JAMES, a noticeably attractive man, enters. He only acknowledges AVA.

AVA (unexpectedly) James! Oh my God. Hey.

JAMES Hey, Ava. Sorry… we did plan to study tonight, right? I should have texted.

TEMPTATION (looking at JAMES) I’m feeling lots of feelings right now. And they’re not about food.

AVA Hey, no worries. Stop by whenever you want!

VANITY Oh God…

AVA I mean not whenever, cause that could be weird. But you know… whenever (she is noticeably nervous).

LOATHING (to AVA) I’m really starting to hate you right now.

VANITY (to AVA) Agreed. Stop making us look bad.

JAMES (not aware of the Emotions) Right… yeah. Well, thanks. For agreeing to study with me.

AVA You’re welcome! (motioning to include her “Emotions”) Well, we’re welcome…

VANITY, LOATHING, TEMPTATION NO!

AVA Nope. I mean I’m welcome. I mean you’re welcome. From me. Just me.

JAMES Want to start studying?

AVA Yes! I mean, yeah. Let’s do it.

JAMES (taking a textbook out of his backpack and setting it on the table) Okay. So, quantum physics…

TEMPTATION Oooo, science.

LOATHING (looking at JAMES, longingly) I’ve never loved something so much before. (epiphany) I’ve never loved anything before.

VANITY (running her fingers through JAMES’ hair) Oh my God. So soft. (JAMES does not seem to notice) (To AVA) Why is your hair not this soft?

AVA jumps up and aggressively grabs TEMPTATION, LOATHING, and VANITY, pulls them by their clothing across the hall, and shoves them into the coat closet as James speaks.

JAMES So, this morning when Professor Watkins was speaking about quantum mechanics… I didn’t really get it… I was trying to figure it out, but the textbook doesn’t explain it very well.

AVA immediately sits down, trying to look normal, as JAMES finishes speaking and looks up from his textbook.

AVA Quantum mechanics, right. Well, Quantum mechanics, including quantum field theory, is a fundamental theory in physics which describes nature at the smallest scales of energy levels of atoms and subatomic particles.

JAMES Right. Yes. But what does that mean?

(AVA struggles to form words.)

JAMES It’s kind of hot in here. Is it okay if I take off my jacket?

TEMPTATION (from the closet) Take it off!

AVA Yeah, sure. No problem.

JAMES (holding his coat) Where should I set it?

AVA Wherever you want, really.

(JAMES moves to the coat closet where the Emotions are.)

AVA Wait, not there!

JAMES What?

AVA That’s where the bad ones hide.

JAMES Bad ones?

VANITY (from the closet) Oh no. Imbecile.

LOATHING (from the closet) What? We aren’t a part of the guy, so it doesn’t matter, right? I mean, he can’t see us, and what’s the big deal if he could?

TEMPTATION (from the closet) As long as I can see him, everything is fine.

AVA (to JAMES) It’s where I shove the worst parts of me when company is over.

JAMES What?

AVA Joking! Ha. I don’t know what I’m saying. Here, let me take your jacket (takes it from James, who lets her).

VANITY (to LOATHING and TEMPTATION) The more Ava acknowledges us, the easier it becomes for others to see us. And if someone sees who we are, it means they’ve accepted Ava, with her, well, what they call, “faults,” and over time, we could lose some of our power over her.

LOATHING (to VANITY) You’re just pretentious.

VANITY (to LOATHING) You’re detestable.

JAMES Ava, are you okay?

AVA Yes, I’m fine! Really.

JAMES You’re odd sometimes, you know that?

AVA Odd? Yeah… I know.

JAMES It’s kind of cute. (taking his jacket back from AVA) Okay, so can I put my coat in there?

AVA Well, you could just lay it on the chair. (taking it from him and setting it down) See? There you go.

JAMES I’d like to hang it actually, if that’s alright with you.

AVA (hesitant) Whatever your heart desires.

JAMES Okay… I guess my heart desires, then, to hang it. (he picks up his jacket) Are you sure that’s okay?

AVA (unsure) Sure. Yes. Of course.

JAMES moves closer to the door as AVA cringes. He opens the door. TEMPTATION, LOATHING, and VANITY stand there, not moving. He sets the coat on a hanger and shuts the door, completely unfazed. As it appears JAMES did not notice the Emotions, AVA heaves a sigh of relief.

JAMES (takes his seat, returning to the textbooks) Nice closet.

AVA Oh, you like it?

JAMES Yeah. Your roommates are weird though.

Curtain.


Catherine Gould led NYU’s basketball team as the starting point guard when she was a freshman. Currently, as a sophomore in Sports Management, Catherine has set aside basketball and is focusing on her aspirations to work for film, television, and the stage. Originally from Edmond, Oklahoma, she loves to travel and has so far visited all 50 states and 8 countries. “The Bad Ones,” is Catherine’s first 10-minute play to be published. It premiered at the Buffalo State One-Act Festival with three performances in April 2019. In her leisure time, Catherine enjoys playing on the NYU Ultimate Frisbee club team, drinking coffee, spending time with friends, watching TV, and attending theatre in New York City. Catherine is incredibly grateful for her loving and supportive family: Beth and Gary (mom and dad), Christina, Carissa, Caroline, and Daniel. Catherine loves Jesus and enjoys conversing with others about their spiritual beliefs.