Month: October 2023

 

I snuggle up on a soft pillow by the window, all cozied up in fluffy blankets. Gently flipping through the pages of a book I sit next to the window. It’s raining outside, but I’m home. My window is open, so I hear how bad the weather is, but the wind is actually refreshing. Savoring every sip of my yummy caramel latte from a cute mug, I smile as I remember why I’m here. Today, I decided to stay snuggled up at home because I felt under the weather. I got sick, so my mom let me miss the school. But little did I know, a book that I chose to read that day would steal my heart away. My incredible mom brewed the most perfect coffee ever and I can still hear her mumbling a song. I carefully placed my pills on a tiny table beforehand and nestled myself beside the window. It felt just like scenes from a movie. The atmosphere was simply amazing, as this book transformed my worldview in a big way. Despite my sniffles and coughs, I couldn’t help but have a truly amazing time. Wrapped in warmth and comfort, my body felt so relaxed and cozy.

 

1. Zinchenko Dana, Two Sides Of The Same World
2. 
   Concept
   

My concept was about schizophrenia. I wanted to show how people who don’t take medication see the world around them during the visual hallucination. I used the personal experience of my friend who is suffering from this disorder. Basically, my pictures have a meaning of how it is important to take medication and also the information that can help to understand what is going on in the heads of people with hallucinations. The first image was a normal world picture – emphasis on cuteness and bright soft colors. The second picture is dark and scary, however, all the changes are not really bright, but the longer you look at the picture – the scarier it becomes. My research was basically a talk (interview) with a person who lives with such a mental disorder + mid-critique from the same person in the process of my work, so the result would look natural. 

1. 
   Process

 

1)

At first, I got the general idea of what I wanted to do. Then I searched for the ideas online but found nothing really useful. I tried to take some sample pictures of pills and fire, but I didn’t really like them. After I cleared out the concept I started to walk over my room trying to find something small and cute. I found these Barbies from some fair. For me they looked really creepy but funny, so I decided to use them. Then I thought that the picture in the mirror would really suit my idea. I put my mirror next to the window so the lighting would be good, and put some pink fabric (my blanket) as the background and ground. I turned Barbies’ heads towards the mirror at a weird angle so they would look as if they broke a neck or something, but still not really noticeable. I tried to use a big flower and a candle, but it didn’t fit. I changed it to a small cactus and put an artificial flower on top of that, so it would be pink and cute. I also used pills in the frame. I tried a lot of compositions – pills in the center, a circle of Barbies, only their legs, a flower in the background. However, in the end, I picked not the most basic one, but not the most creative one. I used a diagonal, so I will have a 3d picture, but still not too creative as a circle. I think that this decision serves my requests. 

2)

At first, I tried to add smoke, but it looked really fake, so I just decided to add a vignette to change the coloring. I did brown corners at first, but then due to the critique of my classmate, I changed the color to black. I think this change worked out right. After that, I added blood from barbies’ eyes. I started by adding blood to each of them but then decided to leave only one bloody face and just deform the others. It made my picture more interesting. Then, I realized that I forgot to add layers, so I spent some time redoing all of it. I added Barbie’s eyes to the cactus and to the face of the first doll( with the clone stamp tool). So, now I have a Barbie with four melting eyes and one Barbie with blood pouring from her eyes. For the third one, I made a hole in her face. I wanted to erase it at all, but it didn’t look natural – photoshop was too obvious, so I just did a hole. And the fourth Barbie received the second head. They really looked creepy, especially because I changed their features only in the mirror, but not in the second part of the picture. I saw this in a horror movie and decided to try it. Also, in the very beginning, I deleted pills from the picture. I had some difficulties with that, but figured everything out later. After that, I thought that the picture was too simple, so I added red words like “kill” and “again” and some signs like someone used blood to draw them. However, I really wanted to stick to my project topic, so I asked my friend with schizophrenia for advice. She said that it’s much better without words. She also gave me advice to keep it simple like it is now because she said that this is exactly how hallucinations look – subtle. They just add some small details to the real world, but sometimes it’s even hard to notice them. That’s why I decided to keep these changes subtle, almost hidden. The next problem that I had was the printing. The printing shop did it not in A4 format, so I found out that I messed up with the format. I stretched my picture and was pretty upset about it. However, after the printing, I saw that it even made my picture better. This stretching sometimes occurs in hallucinations. So in the end I was happy that it worked out in this format and style. It really gave more to my work in terms of the naturality of hallucinations representation. I was really proud when a person with real hallucinations told me that my picture really accurately represents what she sees. 

 

Contact Sheet:

1. Possible Improvements
   

I really wanted to add some smoke, but wasn’t able to do it naturally, so I would like to try out more strategies and add some smoke to the work. Also, I would love to implement some images from other pictures/files. I saw a lot of people working with that, however didn’t get a chance to try. I think I would be able to add some demon’s faces or horns. I think I could also light up Barbies’ faces a little to emphasize change. 

1. Image of Diptych

 

• My overall concept for this Photo Diptych project is to show schizophrenia in a simple and generalizing way. I want to show how pills help to turn off the hallucinations that people with schizophrenia get. I want to show what kind of visual hallucinations people might get and what it would look like if they were taking pills as the prescription says. The point is to show how important it is to continue the treatment for these people and to show others how this disorder might look in some of the aspects of it.
• The first image for me depicts the “real picture”. It means that first I’m just going to show an innocent scenario that people can possibly see in real life without the alterations of the schizophrenic mind. I need to use something really cute to emphasize the contrast between the two pictures. I will use many pink colors, soft textures, and playful objects. For the second picture, I will add something really crazy and horrifying. I will change these cute objects into something scary but still keep that scenario. I talked to people who are suffering from this disorder, so they can explain to me what they usually see during hallucinations and I am going to use this knowledge while photoshopping my picture. So, without each other, these photos are completely nonsense, but together they depict the contrast between the “real picture” that everyone sees and the picture that a person with schizophrenia can see at the same time. 
• According to what I want to depict, I think I will use Barbie dolls, flowers, a pink blanket, and maybe some special lighting – this is for the cute and innocent part. However, in the middle of the picture, I will put pills. In the second part of the diptych project, I will delete them from the photo to show that when pills are in the frame (a person is taking them) the image is fine, but when pills are out of the picture ( someone stops taking them) the image becomes darker and much different. 
• I plan to add some smoke, change the coloring to the darker one, add some fire, and use repetition in some objects – I am thinking of derealisation the picture by changing the number of eyes on Barbie dolls, adding some on the background, also I will delete the pills from an image and adding some blood and mirrors.