We’ve all experienced it before: a friend’s birthday, a wedding, the birth of a child or a colleague’s promotion. Why do these things, which are supposed to be joyous occasions, sometimes cause us to feel sad and upset? Our mind is a complex beast, and it is often not easy to decipher our feelings. In this article, I will explain five reasons why change can be so hard, and how we can make the most of it.
1. You’ve lost a part of your identity
For many, getting a new job, a new car or moving into a bigger house is a source of great happiness. However, sometimes it is these very things that make us start feeling sad. We’ve moved on to a new stage in life, and we begin to feel a sense of loss. We may have sacrificed a lot to get to this point. We may have had to leave a familiar place, say goodbye to our old friends and spend our evenings after work in front of the TV. But now, we have a new identity: we’re a single mother or father, a successful businesswoman or a member of the board.
While we may have achieved our goal of a new, bigger house, we might have also lost a part of ourselves along the way. It’s not easy to keep up with work, children and a social life, and we may begin to feel that we’ve lost our old social life, and with it, a part of ourselves.
2. You’re afraid of the future
Life and the future are full of uncertainty. We can’t be sure what will happen next. Every time we leave the house, we don’t know if we’ll return home safely. We don’t know if we’ll get a raise or if our boss will be happy with our work. There’s always an element of uncertainty in life, and that’s what makes it so interesting. But sometimes, we might experience more fear than excitement. We feel a sense of foreboding, of anxiety, which makes us sad.
3. You’re afraid of losing your current happiness
Sometimes, we’re afraid of losing the things that make us feel happy. We’re scared of losing our job, our wife or our life. We’re afraid that if we have more or move to a new, bigger house, we will lose the sense of comfort and security we currently feel. We’re afraid of losing the things we currently have. We’re afraid of the unknown, the future.
4. You’re afraid of disappointing others
We all want to be liked and loved. But sometimes, the desire to be liked and accepted by others can be so strong that it makes us sad. We might feel that if we don’t get a raise or if our boss is displeased with our work, our colleagues will be angry with us. We might feel that if we don’t get married or move in with our partner, our parents will be disappointed with us. We might feel that if we don’t have a child, our partner will be angry with us.
5. You’re comparing yourself to others
We all have a tendency to compare ourselves to others. We might see our neighbor’s new car and feel a sense of jealousy. We might see a Facebook post announcing a friend’s promotion and feel left behind. We might see our colleagues enjoying a drink after work and feel sad that we can’t join them. We might see a picture of our best friend’s new house, and feel sad because we don’t have one.
While comparing ourselves to others can be a source of great happiness, it can also be a source of sadness. We might be happy for them, but we might also feel a sense of envy. The comparison will always be unequal, and our feelings will always be a mixture of happiness and sadness.
Conclusion
While these five reasons aren’t exhaustive, they should help you make sense of some of your feelings. You don’t have to be happy 24/7. What makes you happy today might make you sad tomorrow. I hope that this article was useful to you, and I wish you all the best.