“I See: Between Earth and Sky” (2024-2025)

It always takes me a long time before I type down my thoughts. The reason for this hesitation, I suppose, stems from various reasons. On a personal level, I hate exposing my unfinished thoughts to the public; I prefer to wait until they mature in my head. Objectively speaking, a blank sheet of paper offers an infinite number of options and possibilities, which often leaves me feeling at a loss. But most importantly, I fail to grasp the meaning of the prompt for this essay—reckoning, even with the help of a translator and my instructor’s explanation. Starting with an unfamiliar term, I struggled to understand what was expected of me. As the first deadline approached and my word count remained at zero, I was forced to write something down. I began with parts that did not depend on my own ideas. I carefully reviewed the two sources with close reading, first summarizing their words and representing their thoughts in sentences, then expanding them into paragraphs. After that, I conducted a photo analysis on my exhibit, recording honestly and intuitively what I saw and how I felt. Yet, it was in this process that I discovered the angle to approach this essay—an exploration of the assumptions behind the question, “What right have I to represent You?”

Throughout this journey, I sharpened my language abilities and came to appreciate the importance of drafting. However, what I gained the most was a deeper understanding of the prompt. Reckoning, as I discovered, is a nuanced way of saying evaluating. It is evaluating because I am asked to assess the reliability and limits of certain claims, but it is nuanced because its purpose is not to ‘sentence’ anyone but to enter and continue a conversation. Therefore, the insights I gain from my analysis should not lead me to admire or despise the author but to further the dialogue their essay engaged in. In this essay, I entered a controversial discussion on aestheticization of documentary photographs. However, it was through cultural studies of vampires and werewolves that I developed my arguments, and through the history of astronomy that I found inspiration for my conclusion. Documentary photographs, monsters, laws of the universe—I hope these initiatives reflect how my thought process has been deepened as new elements are introduced and show that it is often at these intersections that new ideas are generated and old conversations continue.

Jingshan Wu, a rising junior at NYU, was born and raised in Beijing, China. Previously majored in applied psychology, he now studies philosophy at the College of Art and Science with a minor in Business Studies. He works as a Learning Assistant at the University Learning Center and served as Creative Director for the Spring ‘24 Florence Issue of the Baedeker Club. When he’s not pondering the mysteries of existence, you’ll find him baking or playing the violin. His essay combines his interests in photography, psychoanalysis, and astronomy to explore how different interpretations of the relationship between Subject and Object influences our understanding of self.