“Productivity or What We Will” (2021-2022)

When I first began writing this progression, I was drained by uncertainty and anxiety. Reorienting myself to the open and challenging lifestyle of college felt a little overwhelming for someone who, now and then, prefers some time alone in her own bubble. As I unconsciously became obsessed with time, I also felt isolated, suffocated from not being able to perceive the changes in my life, not even to mention what was happening in the “outside” world.

I was in this state of mind when my professor asked our class to listen to “How to Do Nothing.” It felt strange at first that someone told me to do nothing when I was struggling with assignments that were calling for my attention. While I watched the speech again and again, I kept asking myself what is so valuable about doing “nothing.” The process of writing this progression could therefore also be viewed as some kind of personal redemption. It didn’t follow the usual steps of researching and outlining. Rather, it started with trivial connections that I sensed between the speech and other sources. The word “nothing” was stretched, and its meaning extended to the ground of different possibilities. Feelings and thoughts, which are confusing and even unspeakable at the very start, were slowly transformed into a quiet but drastic conversation, written in words. And it turns out that the act of doing nothing, which could be interpreted on different levels, not only matters to seeing ourselves in the world, but also may be what will save people from falling into numbness and unconsciousness. 

In the very first lesson of this semester, our professor told us to evaluate how we write on a scale that was new to me. He said that one part of “writing is thinking.” There probably are no better words to depict my experience than these. I also believe that any meaningful writing demands some emotional devotion, and that our writing grows stronger and more genuine when we are devoted and involved. 

Ruofan Li (CAS ’24) was born and raised in Beijing, China, a historic but modern city with rich cultural heritage. She studies computer science at the College of Arts and Science and is currently pursuing a pre-health track, as she hopes to apply cutting-edge computing knowledge to future medical technologies. Her own character is just as contradictory as where she grew up. Different from the common expectation for a science student, her way of engaging with the world is mostly emotional. She is a passionate foodie, an amateur swimmer, and a reader. She has a special preference for travel vlogs and dreams of traveling the world.