By Xandi McMahon
walking down broadway
where in this beyond are they taking me?1
the rickety old tin-can car approaches its stop running mid-october breeze over the platform. at the broadway bridge we scream. loudly, freely, there is no reason not to. take us into sherman creek park and down harlem river drive. east to west we hold this narrow island. and
my eye—which rests only on beauty—holds you (i don’t desire much else.) 2
the hundreds of streets escape into my calves and the muscles of my back. heaps of orange and brown we fall into the full family of it all. out of nowhere it becomes dark. enter rats!
at battery park we are silent. some amazement of joy that we had found our way out that far.3
late night deli run
a hankering, high time for a journey
beat my boot to the snow, up from the flurry
a couple of coins, this flickering noise
i swing open the door to gamblers galore
i take steps in, the man next to me wins
fifty-two bucks & hey i’m good luck
i head straight to the candy
(cadbury’s fruit and nut)
always my dad’s choice, i take after his joys
(guitars, coffee, weed, the same levi’s jeans)
old men drinking wine, brown bags held with twine
cigarette smoke thick, seeping into the brick
i’m wrapped up tight, held taut by night
wooly scarf and hat, shivers up my back
two bucks and i’m home
sugar straight to the bones
bakery on 86th street
a ritual: shed the soft and sunny and full-of-promise smells4
of my place under the covers, divine motivation &
emerging-migraine-fervor. winter chill under a sky of milk,
before-sunrise sacrament, wet gorgeous dripping sip.
a sweetness: sugar dissolving creamy home & shared tongue
of smiles and nods and early-morning tenderness of masked
eye-crinkling gratitude.
1. Alfred Kazin, A Walker in the City, (New York, NY: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, 1969).
2. Virginia Woolf, “Street Haunting” (London: Penguin, 2005)
3. Kazin, A Walker in the City
4. Audre Lorde, Zami (Canada: Crossing Press, 1982).
Xandi McMahon (they/them) is originally from San Francisco and currently resides in Brooklyn. They are a senior at Gallatin, where they concentrate on women’s and labor history. Currently, Xandi is writing a book of poetry and prose in conversation with trans and queer writers for their senior project.
This author is such a talented writer! I haven’t been to New York in years, but they bring me right back.