Submitted by Daryll
In recent years, the concept of Emotional Intelligence (EQ) has gained traction. EQ is a wide term that encompasses a person’s ability to understand and regulate their emotions and use these to better communicate, manage conflict, improve relationships and so on.
But EQ can also have important effects outside of your own personal bubble. High EQ can lead to a more diverse, inclusive society and workplace. However, the relationship between high EQ and diversity and inclusion is not just unidirectionally causal. While higher EQ can lead to higher inclusivity and acceptance of diversity, positive experiences with diversity have also been shown to contribute to high EQ.
A high EQ is also especially relevant in today’s workplaces as we are often tasked to work together with people from different cultures, with different beliefs, and vastly different backgrounds. People and teams with higher EQs are consistently shown to perform better in their jobs and report higher job satisfaction, partly due to the number of positive workplace relationships they foster.
Luckily for us, a high EQ, much like IQ, can be developed and trained so it becomes almost a habit. As such, it is important to start these behaviors off young. After all, it is much easier to form a habit as a child than it is to cultivate it as an adult.
But know that improving your EQ isn’t a one-shot success strategy for relationships. It takes effort and constant practice to maintain. Just like we take health supplements like DIM to boost our physical health whenever it wanes, so should we supplement our EQ with action and wider experience with diversity.
Developing Emotional Intelligence in Children
Children in America are very likely to encounter people of different cultures and ethnicities from a young age. In 2018, 27.2% of students enrolled in public elementary and secondary schools in America were Hispanic, 15.2% were Black, 5.3% were Asian, and 4.1% identified as being of two or more races. This makes schools the perfect places for children to interact with people from diverse cultures and backgrounds, and hone their emotional intelligence.
But simply having diversity does not automatically lead to an improvement in EQ. This is because it is positive experiences with diversity that contribute to an improvement in EQ. Therefore, schools also need to provide children with an environment where diversity is respected, un-stigmatized, and un-stereotyped, so they can fully engage with children from different backgrounds without prejudice.
A positive attitude towards diversity and people of different ethnicities can also be inculcated at home by parents. This may be through speaking with your children and cultivating in them a respect and compassion for people from different ethnicities and backgrounds, but also through action.
It’s no secret that children try to emulate their parents, and a lot of their behaviors and mannerisms are learnt from direct observation and imitation of their parents. As such, the best method of teaching your children to welcome diversity would be to do so in your own personal life by visibly interacting and cultivating positive and fulfilling relationships with a number of different, diverse people.
Developing Emotional Intelligence as an Adult
Accessing diversity as an adult may be slightly trickier. It depends on the racial makeup of the organisation you work for, the neighbourhood you live in, and the social circles you have chosen. While it is possible to consciously expand your social circle in pursuit of more diversity, it may be advisable to first practice a few skills that high EQ people have in your existing circles. After all, adults are often not as forgiving as children, and disputes between adults arising from misunderstandings are not as easily resolved as those on the playground.
One of the most powerful tools of the high EQ person is self-awareness. Self-awareness refers to the person’s ability to understand and acknowledge their own emotions through constant introspection. Another is the willingness and perspective to change your behaviour if you find that it is harmful or detrimental to the situation at hand.
Once you have attained familiarity over your own emotions and behaviours, the final step is to use these skills to optimise the social situation for all the individuals involved. This can be done by monitoring how other people behave, and considering their emotions and point of view in order to create a space where they feel cherished, and safe to engage fully with the conversation.
Once you are familiar with these skills, try practicing these on your existing relationships and see how they affect the social dynamics and outcomes. You will most clearly be able to see the fruits of your improved EQ through interactions with existing friends. It can also allow you to modify and improve your methods to achieve better results with less chance of permanently damaging a relationship. After all, experience is the best teacher.
Some people are blessed with high EQs naturally. Others have to learn these skills consciously. But regardless of whether you exhibit high EQ skills intuitively or not, the cost of learning these skills and putting them into practice are next to nothing, whereas the benefits of success are boundless. So the next time you have a social interaction, try to be mindful of your own emotions and those of the people around you, and see how you can regulate your emotions and monitor others’ to create a meaningful and equally-fulfilling interaction.