By Jaden Tyler Urso
Ron and Sam are reuniting. I repeat, Ron and Sam are reuniting. Maybe. Hopefully. At least, that’s what MTV wants you to think. The dead horse of Jersey Shore: Family Vacation continues to be beaten to death off their backs, as the two recently were spotted together on the show’s TikTok account and in paparazzi shots promoting the last few episodes of the sixth season. Sam took a somewhat permanent sabbatical after three years of on-and-off dating with Ron, and only decided to return once Ron left due to mental health issues. Separating the exes was good for contracts — but horrible for television, as fans wondered if they would ever see their favorite toxic couple reunite. Now with a reunion being teased on the horizon, ratings are sure to soar. But is this reunion a good thing? Or is it just perpetuating a cycle of abuse?
Jersey Shore was must-see TV in the early aughts. It was a guilty pleasure for people across the globe, with views peaking at 8.9 million for the highest watched episode of the series. It was candied feel-bad TV, with the self-proclaimed “guidos” partying all night; fighting and flirting and drinking themselves into an idiotic oblivion. America followed them everywhere, from the gym to the tanning salon and remarkably, even the laundromat. GTL (gym-tan-laundry, duh!) t-shirts were sold, social media followings were amassed, and the genre of reality TV was never the same. After Jersey Shore brought reality TV to the mainstream, audiences expected high stakes fighting to be processed and brought to their couches every night. The people on the screen weren’t “real” to audiences, they were manufactured disasters, court jesters to be paraded and laughed at. Maybe it could get soapy from time to time with a tear-jerker on Teen Mom, but this was typically war. Child abuse was turned to Dance Moms and Honey Boo Boo. Marital issues became The Real Housewives franchise. Easily digestible fluff was what America wanted, and America got it in the American way: violently.
This is the sad truth of the Shore. Over the course of the show’s original six seasons, America was introduced to “juice-head” Ronnie Ortiz-Magro and “the sweetest b*tch you’ll ever meet,” Samantha “Sammi Sweetheart” Giancola, and their incredibly toxic relationship. Ron continuously gaslit Sam, cheated on her, and manipulated her into hating the other castmates on show. This was treated as fun and games while the show was airing, but upon reflection, many viewers wonder if they actually witnessed and laughed at an abusive relationship. Websites such as Cosmopolitan have recently labeled the relationship as such, and popular YouTubers such as Mila Tequila and Internet Oddities have created retrospective video essays on the relationship that have amassed millions of clicks, views, and comments.
Sam and Ron are responsible for some of the most iconic moments of the show, with season two’s “note” being the single most memorable moment of the series. The “note,” written by housemates Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi and Jenni “Jwoww” Farley, was written to expose Ron for cheating on Sam multiple times while the cast was staying in the Miami house, and delivered anonymously in Sam’s underwear drawer. The Shore cast was not allowed to typically write or pass notes to one another due to production wanting to keep everything on camera, but because of the interesting subject matter, Nicole and Jenni were permitted an exception. The “note,” in all its glory, reads:
Sam,
The first night at B.E.D when you left, Ron made out with 2 girls and put his head between a waitress’s breasts. Also was grinding with multiple fat women.
When you left crying at Klutch, Ron was holding hands and dancing with a female and took down her number.
Multiple people in the house know, therefore you should know the truth.
Nicle and Jenni wrote the message anonymously so they would not be blamed for the drama that would ensue, but were eventually exposed. The reason this television moment is so memorable a decade after its airing is not because of the ridiculous wording or crude situation, but because of Sam’s reaction to it all. When Sam finds the note, Ron gaslights her into thinking that the anonymity of the note is a larger sin than his actual cheating, and Sam has a physical fight with Jenni, blaming her for her relationship problems. This fight removes Samantha from any platonic female friends she has in this circus of a reality television show; making her a lone pariah for the majority of seasons two, three, and four.
The insanity of Ron and Sam rose to a fever pitch in season three, episode seven: “Cab’s are Here!” In the episode, Ron destroys all of Sam’s property, crushing and ripping it, including smashing her glasses. (For a brief backstory, this incident occurred because Ron watched Sam dance with another man at a club after one of their countless break ups). (Actually, they broke up and got back together 16 times). (Yes, I counted).
When Sam returns to the house and finds all of her property destroyed, she is at a loss for words. The then 22-year-old sits on the floor and tenderly holds up her broken glasses to the camera. “Oh my God,” she says. Oh my God is right. This violent moment was not only horrendous, not only broadcast to the world, but completely preventable. While Sam was at the club, camera’s followed Ron as he destroyed her belongings, commented that he wanted to ring her neck, and slut shamed her relentlessly. These cameras, held vigil to her suffering for seasons prior, hoping and praying that they would get a juicy fight on camera. They never intervened.
When confronting Ron, Sammi chokes back tears: “You’ve embarrassed me enough,” she says, and he has. At this point in the series, Ron has put Sam through hell: cheating on her, gaslighting her for many episodes, and leaving her with virtually no friends in the house. This isn’t even the first time he has destroyed her property. Their relationship is a vicious cycle that they will be doomed to repeat not only for the remainder of the show, but for the remainder of their lives, with the remembrance of these fights being emblazoned on TikTok videos and the “note” being plastered onto tote bags. It is impossible to mention this remembrance without noting that Ron has repeatedly been hounded with domestic abuse charges and claims since the show wrapped. Meanwhile, Sam has tried to escape these issues, posting photos of her healthy relationship to her 3.8 million Instagram followers. But the comments tell a different story, mentioning Ron any chance they get. It is one thing to undergo and come to terms with an abusive past, but another to have it broadcast for a nation. The publicity of the way we view reality television relationships is a mind-warp, with viewers expecting to see every aspect of someone. It’s a celebrity status that is not based on talent, but commodification. Ron and Sam are the product, and are still consumed over and over again today, watched as long as the Jersey shore is readily available to view.
In the early aughts, there was an incredibly different viewpoint of abuse than there is today, and the context as to which we showcase reality television has shifted. For example, the British reality juggernaut Love Island has recently shifted the way it treats sex, drinking, and emotional outbursts. This occurred after former contestants and the host of the show sadly passed away from suicide, when their lives and mental health drastically shifted due to the effects of being on television. In America, shows like the wholesome Golden Bachelor are amassing high viewership, putting reality television through sanitation. In the Shore’s case, the show is a skeleton of what it once was — with the now forty-year-old cast barely ever getting “fresh to death” or even fighting. In one of the recent episodes of Jersey Shore: Family Vacation, a fellow cast mate warns Sam that Ron is going to be appearing on set that day, and tells her she can leave if she wants to. “I’m definitely not ready for this,” she says, “my life has moved on.”
A former, and probably more entertaining version of the show would not have done this. Ron and Sam would have been perfectly positioned for the biggest blow-up possible, and the fight would have been great TV. Instead, MTV shrinks away and continues to promise this reunion is coming, just on the horizon, if fans are willing to watch another hundred episodes of their favorite all-grown-up “guidios.” Even if this reunion does come, there won’t be a fight involved. Sam has matured, and Ron hopefully has as well. They may shake hands, or reflect briefly on how they have grown since their relationship. While this may be disappointing to the viewers, who come to the Shore to laugh and point at televisions favorite court jesters, it’s probably for the best. After all, a person’s life is more important than the forty-five minutes spent on a couch, flipping through channels until you find the next best thing.

