How to Avoid Your Ex on Campus

by Anna Whitescarver 

Exes. Ew! Running into your ex always blows chunks. That makes it particularly hard when you find yourself broken up with someone who attends the same school as you. There’s nothing like walking out of a particularly sweat-inducing classroom only to bump smack into your ex who you haven’t seen in months and then you’re trying to go out of the security gate and they’re trying to go in and tap their ID and then you drop your iced coffee that you’ve been nursing since the morning and they feel bad for you and boy is it awkward! Nothing like it:) 

Anyway, avoiding them is gonna be your key to success. And sunglasses are gonna be your best friend. Much like horse blinders, it’s helpful to narrow your field of vision. The old adage stands true: if you can’t see them, they can’t see you. 

If you can’t avoid them, make sure to have some sort of beverage on you at all times. A classic slip and spill is the best way to humiliate your ex in public. Often while walking, I daydream about running into my favorite ex and dumping a disgusting, days-old, Dunkin all over his nasty white sneakers. Heart eyes emoji! 

It’s also important to make sure you look your best. Nothing says revenge like an outfit they would hate. I had an awesome pair of green pants that one of my exes hated when I wore. I try to wear them often now, in case I see him. They look fly. 

Mostly, I would say, you should just forget about your exes. If you run into them, a look of confusion – slight flicker of recognition in the eyes – a sly smile, “What was your name again?” and then dance down the street. Strut! That’s my best and only advice. Xo