Ayman Mukerji Househam
Sakhi
USA
I embarked on my journey to end domestic violence feeling all smug, but after a few weeks of working with the problem, I’ve started feeling powerless. I always knew that the cultural acceptance of domestic violence against women of South Asia had to be the deepest issue. Now I have also come to realize that just being a woman, immigrant, and colored adds even more to this already massive problem. Where do we even begin, when the problem is so deeply layered underneath its nuanced intersectionality?
My project at Sakhi is to peel back those layers, starting with the top layers first. I plan to create a report for Sakhi that would identify the roadblocks in the various systems that prevent its clients from reporting or getting any help whatsoever. This report would help Sakhi to make a case for removing the obstacles that prevent women from being freed from the hands of their perpetrators.
After interviewing some of my amazing colleagues at Sakhi who are on the front line, I am learning about public system barriers, of immigration policies, law enforcement agencies, lack of public benefits, and so on. Sadly, in today’s political climate, an immigrant woman is naturally hesitant to report abuse. Even if she could overcome the inherent stigma of “coming out” to her society as the woman with the failed marriage and the victim who gets beaten up, she could not fight back against the government that’s willing to throw her out if she makes noise. Eventually some of these women drum up the courage to make the 911 call. But when the cops show up at their doorsteps, the husbands often minimize the issue and our law enforcement agents (of course, with some exceptions!) decide to leave the “private matter” of spousal abuse behind those same doors.
When the women are able to escape the perpetrators, they are often punished in the courtroom for numerous reasons. Even their own lawyers often side with the husband. Why? I am not completely sure, but perhaps it is the negative view of a woman who is trying to get her (ex)spouse in trouble, by asking for custody of her children, or alimony or any other form of support that she clearly deserves. On top of this is a language barrier. The court is “nice enough” to provide her with an interpreter (who meets her for the first time at the courtroom and speaks to the judge for her), but when she tries to re-explain any point, she isn’t given a chance.
Finally, when the women do break free and try to start living on their own, getting public benefits such as rental vouchers becomes an issue because it’s a hassle for the landlord.
The current state of affairs may not look good, but by knowing the real problems, we could come up with real solutions. I am a survivor, and there are many others like me who have a personal interest in seeing an empowered future for women. I believe that there is a brighter future for these victims of violence. They are not helpless; rather, they are change agents with willpower and lived experience that could be strong enough to free others still in captivity.
