Thoughts Before I Go

Benjamin Talarico
Colors Rainbow / Rainbow TV
Yangon, Myanmar

It’s almost take-off time, and with baited breath, I feel the inevitable approach of the day I will file onto the Malaysian Airlines 9412 763 flight to Yangon (with a layover in Paris, and a layover in Kuala Lumpur—it was cheaper that way!). And when I disembark that crowded, germy vessel in which only a ventriloquist could truly feel comfortable, I will with eager gait step out into the humid Yangon air and into the exciting summer that surely waits!

My host organization, Colors Rainbow, is awaiting my arrival with some fanfare. We’ve been speaking frequently, my supervisor and I, hashing out the minute, uninspiring particulars: accommodations, daily schedule, ideal office clothing vs. ideal not-in-the-office clothing, various transit maps of cross-city buses, whether to eat fish or pork for lunch, and do I want the leather, plush, roll-y chair? And should I go straight to the office after the flight, despite not having slept in two days?

My independent study has prepared me immensely for the summer ahead. My adviser, Professor Ritty Lukose, with her invaluable insight and knowledge, has challenged me to approach the issue of sexuality and political work with a much more nuanced air, pushing me to consider structure, the role of the nation, beyond a simplistic local-global dyad. With this, I feel that I have a good analytical foundation for navigating the complex, multifaceted world I am about to enter (I read some Foucault, and now all I can think about is biopower. This is just a phase.). I’m afraid that had I not done this independent study, I would be unable to think critically about Colors Rainbow’s work; I wouldn’t be able to appreciate how sexuality, history, nationhood, and class, shapes the way a movement is articulated.

Professor Vasuki Nesiah’s seminar has been invaluable, too, in helping me think about the potential problems and benefits of using a human rights framework. As of now, I am trying to figure out exactly what my politics are, and I am trying to think about what a movement could look like beyond the normative structures in which it’s embedded. The seminar also made me think about the uses and abuses of human rights discourse: it’s good geopolitical leverage, but to what extent is the grassroots heard when human rights discourse is utilized in this way? What is the relationship between the state and the grassroots when human rights are used to advance the interests of the state? How does the language of human rights change when this happens?

Katherine Franke’s article, “Dating the State: The Moral Hazards of Winning Gay Rights,” has helped me to think about this issue: how the neoliberal state uses human rights to its benefit, and what activists are doing to challenge this co-optation. After reading this article, I consider it of utmost importance to foreground the state in any human rights movement—including, of course, Colors Rainbow—as well as that nation-state’s political-economy. What gets lost when human rights discourse is utilized for the purpose of, say, bombing another nation? What sort of political subject is interpolated in this context?

In general, I feel more confident about my ability to ask important questions. My singular hope is that I will observe more than participate; listen more than speak.