Tracey Steinberg, a dating coach, told NBC News, “It’s definitely possible, but it’s rare, because the chances of you knowing who you want to be with at 40 when you’re 17 are kind of low,” said Steinberg, “But it happens, and love is rare. And it’s worth the wait if it’s real.”
There are many downfalls of attempting to continue a high school relationship through college. With that being said, it isn’t impossible, but it has proven difficult for many proven reasons.
Even going to schools nearby isn’t helpful due to the different cultures at colleges etc. Just seeing someone on the weekends won’t even cut it. Most people are entirely different after college, so breakups happen and life goes on. There are many reasons dating while going into college is doomed for failure.
In high school, all students know is their protected bubble. University is the first time students are away from home and can meet people from all over. It is more likely that people will meet someone they have more in common with in this massive pool of people.
There are more specific classes, clubs and opportunities. This increases the chances that someone meets a person they are more interested in. High school is structured, there are less people and nobody has “found themselves” yet. This is why university is an opportunity to explore on one’s own.
Some people in college see all the acceptance and do a complete personality 180. This doesn’t always lead to breakups, but it make mean taking the time to figure life out further. Studying abroad doesn’t help people stay together often either. Leaving for college is one thing, but leaving the country is a whole other can of worms.
It will be pretty difficult to mingle with new classmates and roommates when staying in a dorm room Skyping or calling a high school significant other. This person may hold the other back unintentionally.
Thoughts might always veer back to missing a high school flame instead of focusing on the new world that has been presented. High school relationships may cloud judgment and hold one back.
Being romantically involved should expand the world and not shrink it. Many of those involved in long distance relationships start saying no to social opportunities. They may opt for laying low and missing their long distance lover. The resentment could build towards each other and the relationship could easily come crashing down.
This is especially true in young changing relationships. Having to visit someone on weekends and miss out on all the college fun can cause strain and lead to resentment.
“We lost track of the number of students who turned up in freshers’ week telling everyone about their girlfriend or boyfriend from back home. Almost invariably, they had split up by Christmas – after the gift exchange,” according to an article by the Guardian.
Distance can cause strain in many relationships, even when those involved aren’t young. Communication is key in any relationship. Distance can lead to miscommunication and misunderstanding.
An article by the Atlantic discusses a girl at Princeton who was miserable because her high school boyfriend wouldn’t let her go out on the weekends. This is a reason many high school relationships end after the first semester freshman year. There may be insecurity and a lack of trust in these younger relationships.
It is still important to not write off a relationship just because some people tell you it isn’t going to work, according to an article by the Telegraph.
Some couples are right for each other and do end up making it out of university in tact. This is less common, but with the right person, anything is possible. Long distance at a young age can make some relationships even stronger.
Dominating the long distance game can even lead to marriage and a long happy life. Maybe it is time to start looking at engagement rings for all those long-time sweethearts out there.
Relationships that last through all of these changes have one specific thing in common-lasting love. Lasting love is the immediate objective of deepening the sense of intimacy and mutual knowing as the relationship grows, according to Psychology Today. There is more to long lasting relationships than this one concept. It also takes hard work, commitment and strategically working through changes. Many students change landslides throughout college due to all the newfound freedom and opportunities.
Whatever happens, relationships are a journey and if things don’t work out, the lessons learned can be applied in later relationships. When entering university, make sure to have this all in mind once red flags start appearing.