One of the skills unique to the coaching certification program I chose was the development and use of something called the coach’s stand. The idea was simple enough; Create a belief, a physical stand or movement, a metaphor, and a commitment that exemplifies how we want to approach and what we want to bring to our coaching. It enables us to more fully embody the qualities we feel are important and would give us a solid foundation for our work.
The use of this stand is especially important since we may not always be in the right mood. We have our bad days and distractions, and so our stand is a great way to reign ourselves in and reorient our attitude and focus. Before a session, I take a moment to clear my minds and step into my stand, and during a session, I can lean on that stand when I feel I need some self-management or hit a challenge.
I have found this use of a stand so useful and empowering that I now have a stand for many of the functions I do. I have a manager’s stand, a presenter’s stand, a writer’s stand, and even a stand I take to the dojo. These stands allow me to shift between the many hats I wear.
Our stand will likely change over time as we develop. The moment a stand feels restrictive, it may be a sign to develop a new stand. Stands may also vary with particular situations. As a manager, for example, there is a time when I may need to tap into more assertiveness, and other times I need to be more open and engaged.
Creating Your Stand
We are all wired differently and so you may find that one aspect of your stand is more of a challenge than another. By having these multiple access points to one’s stand it not only accommodates for that natural preference, but also encourages a more immersive experience within it.
Let’s explore each part of a stand:
The Belief
In creating the parts of your stand, it helps to first decide what core beliefs you feel will best serve you or need to be flagged for reminders. These beliefs will be the latticework on which your stand will be built. The other parts of your stand will all reflect these core beliefs.
The Commitment
The commitment states what it is we are bringing to the coaching (or whatever the stand is for) and what our objectives are. It gives structure and meaning to our efforts so that we do not get sidetracked or lose focus, keeping us off auto-pilot so that we are fully engaged. When you find yourself triggered or distracted, taking a moment to ask yourself how you can reconnect to and honor this commitment will bring you back on track.
The wording of one’s commitment is important. Fixing a client, for example, does not honor the coaching relationship, or focusing on doing something right or perfectly puts unnecessary pressure on you and would not be conducive to authenticity and risk-taking.
The Metaphor
This is an image which represents the embodiment of you in your stand. When it comes to a coaching stand, I would suggest being mindful of how the relationship with the client is being reflected. For example, if you are using an image of you lecturing someone then that does not resonate with the idea of coaching being about the client. Subtle things like putting out a hand to help a client up again hints that you are the one doing the work when it should be the client. Consider something more collaborative – you are both climbing a mountain, each supporting the other, etc. For non-coaching stands, this may be different. I may, for example, in a presenter’s stance, want to be on a podium if that’s what I need to feel connected.
The Physical
There is a great TED talk by Amy Cuddy where she discusses how our body language not only influences people’s perception of us, but can also change our own attitude and body chemistry. Consider, for example, how you feel when you are sitting hunched up vs with good posture. Incorporating a physical posture or movement into one’s stand is a powerful way to aid in embodying it. You will find this use of movement useful in some of the other skills this website will explore.
This physical aspect you choose in your stand can be anything that resonates with you. It may be simply standing straight, ready to engage, or it may be a physical enactment of the metaphor part of your stand. Of course, you may not always be in a position to enact that stand, so you may have a few options available to you. Simply being mindful of the message your body is presenting can be of value. Are you coming across as closed or open? Curious or distracted? The physical aspect of your stand is the cue to bring that mindfulness into play.
An Example Coach’s Stand
This was my first coach’s stand which I developed during my coaching certification. At the time, I was struggling with taking risks and being all-in during my coaching so you will see that reflected in the stand were I give myself permission to do so. I still use it from time to time when I am feeling a little uncertain or that I am playing it too safe.
My Belief: There is power in vulnerability and authenticity. To be authentic is to embrace that vulnerability.
My commitment: I commit to creating a safe, judgment-free space in which both the client and I can feel free to embrace our vulnerability and approach each session authentically.
My metaphor: I think of how my sessions at dojo begin. As we are sitting seiza-style on our knees facing the teacher, we clap our hands together once and say “Shi-kin Hara-mitsu Dai-ko-myo“ (四拳 波羅蜜 大光明) then bow. It is technically a Buddhist mantra that does not translate word-for-word, but which could be translated as “Every experience contains the potential for taking me to the awakening I seek.” In the dojo we use this ritual to remind ourselves to remain in the ever-changing moment of “now” without fear of mistakes or accidentally hurting someone as we practice since our time in the dojo is fully in the spirit of mutual growth and support.
My physical embodiment: Basically the clap and bow of the above metaphor. (I tend to visualize myself doing this before a session vs actually doing it physically.)