Coaching involves asking a lot of questions. The trick is to ask questions that are crafted in a way to engage more deeply and invite the client to open themselves more fully to what they are thinking or experiencing. At first, this can seem daunting, but as you learn to remain present and engaged, these questions will begin to flow naturally, fueled by your curiosity and insight. Here are some tips for asking empowering questions.

Using Open-Ended Questions

Empowering questions are open-ended to invite further exploration and thought, always moving forward and deeper by inviting engagement and curiosity. Yes/No questions, often starting with “Do,” “Does,” or “Would,” only invite one-word responses that can stop that flow and limit ponderance. Perhaps in special cases, such a break could be strategically placed, but generally, if you find yourself asking a Yes/No question, don’t be afraid to catch yourself and reframe it. A coach is not expected to be perfect, and embracing that vulnerability enforces your own authenticity and desire to improve.

For example, if the topic of training was brought up in relation to the client’s situation, instead of asking “Do you think getting some training would help?” consider “How would additional training play into this?” or “What would you want to gain from additional training?”

You may be surprised how difficult a habit it is to avoid yes/no questions. As with any skill, it comes down to practice and making a point to reframing them as they slip through.

Avoiding Leading Questions

Leading questions limit the response to our own expectations or bias. Sometimes this is conscious since we may have some ideas on how to help or have our own agendas, and other times it may be a reflection of unconscious influences.

If we are coming to the coaching with our own agendas we are not honoring the freedom and resourcefulness of the person or team we are coaching or fostering a solution or direction that resonates with them. As discussed in the section on mindset, coaching is not about you.

If the source is more unconscious, then we must rely on the mindfulness that comes from learning to be present and engaged. If a client seems to get frustrated or boxed in, find ways to reorient back to them. Ask what they think or how would they approach it, or simply check in. (“You seem a little frustrated, what’s on your mind?”) Be open to criticism and appreciate the opportunity to bring the session back to the client.

Questions starting with “Do you…,” “What if you…,” or “How about if…” may betray a leading question. Be mindful of your motivation for asking and if the ideas are yours or theirs. These questions may be welcome in, say, a brainstorming session where ideas are being solicited, but less welcome when the focus is on the client.

Avoiding Defensiveness and Judgement

The word “why” can easily be interpreted as being judgemental or trigger defensiveness that can close down a conversation. Consider reframing with “what” or “how.”

For example, instead of “Why did you skip the meeting?” consider “How did you feel skipping the meeting” or “What motivated you to skip the meeting?”

Be mindful of when you are finding yourself triggered and falling into judgment.

Keeping it Short

You may be tempted to elaborate on your questions or lead up to them.  This can break the flow and spontaneity.  If your question is not interpreted as intended it will still get a response to move the conversation or you will be asked for clarification.  Keeping questions short and focused keeps things present and spontaneous, with the focus on the client.

For example, instead of asking “Since there are so many ways of approaching this, what is your take on it?” consider simply asking “What’s your take?”

Embracing Spontaneity

Those new to coaching will often try to memorize long lists of good questions. I still recall keeping a cheat sheet on hand for my practice session. It was only when I realized I was spending more time looking over that list than listening to my clients that I put the list away and trusted myself and the coaching process.  

It’s natural to have a small set of favorite questions that you commonly find yourself using, but be mindful when those questions become habitual responses or narrow your scope of options. Occasionally looking over various compilation lists of empowering questions can help inspire new and powerful options. 

The more you practice this skill, the more natural empowering questions will come to you.  There will be no need to memorize lists since your curiosity and engagement will allow such questions to flow naturally with a spontaneity that is indicative of an empowering question.

Example Questions

What’s important about that?
What matters most here?
What’s the cost of keeping things as they are?
What’s at stake here?
What’s that like for you?
What are you noticing?
What’s holding you back?
What are you going to do about it?
What might you do differently?
What excites you?
What’s possible now?
If you knew you would succeed, what would you do?
What do you want most?
What will that give you?
What will be different (if you get/do that)?
What’s the big picture?
What shifted?

How do you plan to achieve that?
How does that honor… (your plans, values, needs, etc.)
How do you feel about that?
How can you break that down into smaller steps?
How does that sit with you?
How will you respond to “no?”