Giving and receiving honest, critical feedback is a skill that we all have to hone. It’s essential to provide the best results. This spring I sent a note to NYU IT leaders titled “Healthy Disagreement vs. Criticism.” I thought it might be helpful to share it with all of you.
Healthy Disagreement vs. Criticism
We’ve had some incidents where people feel they have not been treated with respect, have been criticized in meetings, or were not treated professionally. I’d like to mention a few things that we all know, but might need to think more about and how we are perceived. You can have the best intentions, but the perception of your actions is what will determine their impact.
Productive meetings require an honest assessment of ideas, which means an accurate assessment of the strengths and weaknesses. When giving negative feedback, be careful to address the ideas and not the person. Be supportive of the initial idea, but then suggest improvements, shortcomings, etc. If you think the performance was poor, you should follow up in private. Emphasize the good work, thought, etc. while explaining the importance of thinking things through or other issues.
Praise in public, criticize in private. Be generous with your positive feedback, especially in public settings. If the work or behavior falls short, try to hold back criticism until you get the person in private. Even then, try not to put them on the defensive. Start by asking questions. Why did they think the idea was good, complete, etc.? What is their take on the behavior in question? Get them to explain what they could do better rather than telling them directly.
We need the best ideas to surface and to get a complete analysis of those ideas. This won’t happen when people feel attacked or intimidated. Feedback is critical to our success, but we don’t want to intimidate our teams. We need our teams empowered. When people are defensive they are not empowered.
Ask your peers. Did you come off the wrong way? Is your intent coming across? Were you too harsh? This is a reminder that we can all do better, especially in this area.
Independence Day
July 4th is the day we set aside to celebrate the start of our nation’s journey as an independent representative democracy. I believe that our ability to learn and grow sets us apart from all that has come before us, and nations that have come since. Progress is never as smooth as we would like, but I’m old enough to have experienced the progress we have made. Not to say that we should be satisfied. I think that is the beauty of our nation. We aren’t satisfied. We continue to push for what we believe. We have institutions that support progress, as slow and as messy as they are, that is their role.
I hope you enjoy the holiday and that you get a chance to reflect on what we have achieved and what you can do to contribute to our growth as a nation.