As many of you know, my father died a few weeks ago. He was almost 94 and, unfortunately, his quality of life was declining. As I reflect on his life, I see that he was never a happy person. He was always concerned about how things could go wrong and would focus on what he could do to avoid the impending disaster he saw just around the corner. This meant that he was always prepared but rarely took any joy in life. As I look at human history, it seems that progress has always been led by people who are dissatisfied with the status quo. I’m grateful for those who were obsessed with making things better for the rest of us, but I don’t imagine that those people were truly happy people.
As is true for most things in life, I think balance is the key. If we are satisfied with things as they are, we will never achieve much. If we aren’t content with where we are and what we’ve accomplished, we deprive ourselves of the happiness that makes life so wonderful. The lesson from my father that I have tried to pass on to my children is to strive for what you want, but be satisfied with what you have. Like most of what we know, it is easier said than done.
My advice is to have realistic goals for what you want to accomplish professionally and personally. Pursue those goals with determination and vigor, and then be honest in your self-assessment. Savor the victories, acknowledge the defeats, but most importantly, be grateful for what you have. Keeping in mind all that is right in your life helps you to tolerate the disappointments.
When I was a cadet, one of the instructors during our most trying exercises would always repeat, “Be happy, think happy thoughts.” I suspect he was being ironic, but I don’t think it was bad advice.